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MODERN MANNERS 



AND 



SOCIAL FORMS 



A Manual of the Manners and Customs of the Best Modern 
Society, Compiled from the Latest Authorities; and 
also Including the Forms for Invitations, 
and Social and Business Letters and 
Notes of Various Kinds. 



By Mrs. JULIA M. BRADLEY. 

- 

is 

To which has been added a Treatise, containing 

SUGGESTIONS ABOUT THE TOILET, BEAUTY AND HEALTH. 



" What a rare gift is that of manners! Better for one to possess 
them than wealth, beauty or talent; they will more than supply all." 

— Bulwer-Lytton. 



72 



CHICAGO, ILL. : 

JAMES B. SMILEY, Publisher, 

232 West Washington Street. 






e" 2 - 



Copyright 1889, by JAMES B. SMILEY. 
Copyright 1892, by JAMES B. SMILEY. 

All Rights Reserved. 



THIS BOOK is sold by SUBSCRIPTION ONLY -NOT to be had in 
BOOKSTORES. Those desiring a copy, and not knowing any agent, should 
address the publisher. 



TO 

ALL THOSE 

WHO WISH TO OBSERVE 

THE BEST SOCIAL FORMS, 

THIS WORK 

IS 

RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED 



PREFACE. 



A KNOWLEDGE of etiquette has been well denned as a 
knowledge of the rules of society at its best; and obedi- 
u ence to these rules is as important in the social world 
as obedience to law is in political and business affairs. So essen- 
tial are these observances that Mrs. H. O. Ward truthfully says, 
that if any thoughf ul person of refined nature was asked, " Which 
individual do you find most essential to your enjoyment of society 
— the wit, the man of genius or talent, whose manners are bad, 
or the man wanting in wit, wanting in talent even, whose manners 
are faultless? but would answer, ' If I cannot have a society where 
both wit and good manners are found, I will dispense with the 
wit, for good manners I must have.' " Another writer says: 
" Those who defy the rules of the best society, and claim to be 
superior to them, are always coarse in their moral fibre, however 
strong they may be intellectually," — a sentiment we m'ost heartily 
endorse. 

In no other country, probably, are so many people anxiously 
inquiring, "What are the requirements of good society?" and 
when once the correct form is known there is a genuine desire 
to conform to it. It was in the hope of helping these earnest 
inquirers that this work was undertaken. In the constant daily 
intercourse of people, in city and country, it is very important 
that they should understand those customs and observances 
which will enable the different social units to mingle together 
pleasantly and without needless friction. The foundation and 
support of all our social laws is that they tend to add materially 
to the happiness and comfort of those who associate together. 
Acts of attention and kindness to others not only increase their 
happiness, but they also ennoble the doer. 



6 PREFACE. 

In preparing this work we have consulted only the best 
authorities, and it has been our constant endeavor to give the 
well-established rules of society at its best. 

A work on etiquette is used very largely as a book of reference 
to settle uncertain points as they arise, and for this reason the 
endeavor has been made to so classify and sub-divide the subjects 
that anyone can readily find what is wanted without needless 
delay. We hope this feature will add to its popularity and 
usefulness. 

The writing of letters and notes of various kinds has come to 
be an important feature of social life, and it is very necessary for 
those who associate much with others to understand the correct 
and most graceful forms, and for this reason we have made that 
section of our work quite lengthy and complete. 

The chapters on tho toilet and kindred topics offer hints on 
subjects which many people are anxious to learn about, and we 
feel confident that the suggestions there given can be safely 
relied on. 



-4*. 






"God may forgive sins, but awkwardness has no forgiveness in 
Heaven or earth."— Hawthorne. 

An examination of the table of contents will give an idea of 
the careful and cojnplete way in which all branches of the sub- 
jects discussed are treated. Good manners are really of great 
importance, for they will raise anyone in the opinion of others, 
and they will also enable their possessor to contribute very largely 
to the pleasure of those with whom he comes in contact. They 
will assist in both the financial and social advancement of their 
possessor, while their lack will impede one's progress in every 
way — and especially is this true of young people. 
Manners— Face Contents. 



CONTENTS. 



Page 

Introductory Remarks 13 

Regard for Others. ... 18 

Introductions 22 

Salutations 32 

TheBow 33 I ShakingHands 35 

Kissing 36 ' Verbal Salutations 37 

Invitations, Acceptances and Regrets 39 

Acceptances and Regrets — 49 | Invitations 37 

55 

61 



Cards 

Cards of Congratulation, Con- 
dolence, Compliment and 
Ceremony 65 

Forms and Styles 55 

Calling Customs 

Calls of Congratulation, Con- 
dolence and Ceremony 71 

Conduct During Calls 72 

FirstCalls 68 

Hints to Gentlemen 79 

Hints to Ladies 76 



Hints on the Use of , 

P. P. C. Cards 60 

Turning Down Cards 60 

When to Leave Cards 61 



68 

Hours for Calling 75 

Leave Taking 74 

Length of Calls 75 

Not at Home 70 

Presenting Letters of Introduc- 
tion 76 



New Year's Calls 83 

Visiting 88 

Births, Christenings, Caudle Parties and Confirmations 94 

Births 94 I Christenings 95 

Caudle Parties 96 I Confirmation 97 

Courtship and Engagement Etiquette 99 

Etiquette of Weddings 107 



A Wedding in Church 107 

A Wedding at Home, 110 

Answering Invitations 121 

Best Man, the 114 

BridalTour 113 

Bridesmaids 114 

Choosing the Day 112 

English Wedding Breakfast. Ill 

Honeymoon Ill 

Invitations 117 



Mourners at 113 

Paying the Expenses 121 

Remunerating Servants 123 

Receptions 113 

Ushers 115 

Wedding Cake 121 

Wedding Presents 115 

Wedding Ring 122 

Widow Re-marrying 112 



Wedding Anniversaries. 125 

(7) 



8 



CONTENTS. 



Etiquette of Funerals and Mourning . . 131 

Periods of Mourning 135 

The Procession 134 

The Services 133 

Etiquette op Dress 240 



Arrangements for a Funeral. 131 

Funeral Notices 132 

Calls of Condolence 134 



Gloves, Use of 153 

Ladies' Dress 140 

for Archery 150 

" Balls 143 

" Bathing 151 

" " Bazaars 150 

" " Brides 151 

" Bridesmaids 152 

" M Business 149 

" Calling 147 

" Calls, Receiving. 146 
•■ Church 144 

" " Concerts 144 

" Croquet Parties. 150 
" DinnerParties.. 145 

" " Driving 147 

" Evening 143 

" Informal, even'g 145 
•• Evening Parties. 145 

" Excursions 150 

" Garden Parties . . 150 

" " Lawn Parties. .. . 150 



Ladies' Dress for Morn'g, at Home 116 

" Mourning 153 

" Opera 144 

" Picnics 150 

" Promenade Con- 
certs -. 150 

" Riding 148 

" " Skating Parties. . 150 

" Street 147 

" Theatre 144 

M " Traveling 349 

" Visiting 146 

" Walking 147 

" Weddings 152 

" Wedding Recep- 
tions. 152 

" Yachting 150 

Gentlemen's Dress 153 

" " Gloves, Use of. 156 

" for Evening — 154 

Morning... 155 

Weddings.. 156 



The Harmony of Colors 156 

Dinner Parties 160 



After- calls 178 

Announcing Dinner 167 

Arrival of the Guests 166 

Boutonnieres. . . 171 

Dress for , 177 

Duties of Host and Hostess. 174 

Duties of Servants 172 

Favors 171 

French Style of Serving 163 

Invitations 161 



Introductions — 167 

Leave-taking 177 

Number to Invite 162 

Returning Hospitalities 177 

Russian (a la Russe) Style of 

Serving 164 

Serving the Dinner 169 

Table Appointments 163 

Wines...., 176 

Whom to Invite 162 



Table Manners 180 



Carving 191 

General Rules of Politeness. 180 



On Eating Vegetables, Fruit, Ber- 
ries and other dishes 187 

The Knife, Fork and Spoon 189 

Luncheons, Breakfasts and Simple Dinners 196 

Breakfasts 199 | Simple Dinners 201 

Luncheons 196 I Supper Parties 200 

The Family Table „ 203 

Breakfasts 203 I Luncheon 204 

Dinner 204 ' TeaorSupper 206 



CONTENTS. 



Table-cloths and Napkins..., 
Etiquette of Balls 

After-calls •. 218 

Arrival, and Entering the 
Drawing-room 215 

Dances, the various kinds. . . 225 

Dress for Balls 218 

Escort, duties of 219 

Hints to Gentlemen 220 

Parties, Receptions and other 

Afternoon Receptions 232 

Afternoon Teas 232 

Archery 252 

Asparagus Parties 251 

Author's Parties 244 

Blue Dinners and Teas 239 

Boating, 253 

Card Playing 244 

Charades 243 

Coaching 251 

Coasting Parties 255 

Croquet 253 

Evening Parties 229 

Fishing 254 

Garden Parties 246 

Glass Dinners 239 

High Tea 235 

Hunting Parties 250 

Informal Entertainments. .. 236 

Etiquette of Public Places 257 



207 

211 

Hints to Ladies 224 

Invitations 211 

Leave-taking 218 

Preparations for a Ball 214 

Receiving the Guests 216 

Supper and Refreshments 217 

Gatherings 229 

Kettledrums 232 

Lawn Parties 246 

Lawn-Tennis 252 

Matinees 240 

Mme. Tussaud Receptions 238 

Morning Receptions 232 

Opera Parties 237 

Picnics 249 

Pink Dinners and Teas 239 

Silver Dinners 239 

Skating Parties 254 

Soirees 240 

Sunday Hospitalitie c 239 

Tableaux 243 

Theatre Parties 237 

Theatricals, Private 243 

Tobogganing 255 

Yachting 253 



Etiquette at?!hurch 278 

Church Fairs... 284 

Concerts 280 

" while Driving 266 

" at Hotels 273 

" in Omnibusses 272 

atOperas 280 

" in Picture Galleries 284 



Etiquette of Public Halls 280 

" Riding 264 

Shopping 276 

" on the Street 257 

' ' Street-cars 272 

" at Studios 234 

Theatres 280 

ofTraveUing 263 



School-room Etiquette 287 

Etiquette of the Home 290 

Manners of Children 295 

Treatment of Servants , 303 

Business Etiquette 307 

Etiquette of Presents and Borrowing 309 

Good and Bad Society 315 

Concerning Chaperons 318 

"Washington Etiquette 324 

Country Manners and Hospitality 330 



10 



CONTENTS. 



Etiquette op Clubs 

Etiquette op Conversation . . . 

AFewDont's 356 

Adaptability... 346 

Advice, Giving of 345 

Affectations 349 

Arguing 344 

Coarseness 348 

Compliments 345 

Contradictions 345 

Correcting Others 343 

Drawing Out Others 346 

English Pronunciation 355 

Egotism 343 

Exaggerations 348 

Forms of Address 349 

Gossip 347 

Hobbies 345 

Language, Suggestions about 352 

Listening 342 

Manners 340 



335 

339 

Modesty 341 

Personal Appearance 340 

Profanity 348 

Pronunciation 354 

Pronunciation, English 355 

Puns 344 

Questions „ 344 

Simplicity 341 

Slanders 347 

Slang 348 

SmallTalk 350 

Stories 343 

Subjects of 340 

Sympathy 342 

Talent, Displays of 347 

Talking Shop 346 

Voice 340 

Wit 347 



Unsettled Points op Etiquette 359 



About After-calls 365 

Concerning Chaperons 363 

Courtesies to Others 363 

Giving the Inside or Wall ... 360 



On Sending Invitations 362 

The Right or Left Arm 359 

Who Should Bow First 361 



Miscellaneous Rules of Etiquette 367 



Adaptability 367 

About Minute Formalities . . 368 
Ease and Self-possession — 369 



General Hints 371 

Public Displays of Talent 370 

Rightof Privacy 370 



PART II. — Letters and Notes 377 



Abbreviations, Use of 382 

Answering Letters 419 

Beginning a Letter 396 

Blotted Letters 381 

Capitals, Use of 403 

Closing for Letters 396 

Conclusion, the, of Letters . . 392 

Crossing the Writing 384 

Dating Letters with Figures 381 
Envelope, Addressing the. . . 404 

Figures, Use of 382-404 

Foldin g the Letter 380 

Foreign Titles 418 

French Phrases 383 

Grammar 381 

Handwriting 381 

Headings for Letters 386 



Ink, What to use 380 

Introduction, the, of Letters 388 

Letters Announcing Engagement. 439 

11 ofApology 436 

•* to Bridesmaid 439 

" of Business 429 

" of Condolence 420 

• ' of Congratulation 422 

11 Draft, Form of 432 

" About Favors Asked 433 

" of Friendship. : 424 

•* Relating to Gifts, 435 

" to Godmother, Request to 

Act 439 

" of Invitation 428 

" of Inquiry 431 

" of Introduction 427 



CONTENTS. 



11 



Letters and Notes (Continued). 



" Notes, Form of 431 

" to Pall-bearer, • Re- 
quest to Act 439 

" of Postponement — 428 
a Receipts, Form of.. 432 
*' of Recommendation 434 

" Social 424 

Paper, the Kind to Use 378 

Postscripts 384 

Pnncta ation , Hints on . 399 



Openings for Letters 896 

Sealing-wax, Use of 380 

Slovenly Letters 381 

Spelling 381 

Style 382 

Superscription, the 404 

Third Person, Use of 385 

Titles, addressing people with 411 

Underscoring 384 

Wafers, Use of 380 



PART III. 



SUGGESTIONS ABOUT BEAUTY, HEALTH AND THE TOILET. 



About Beauty 445 

The Standard of Beauty 450 | BeautyofForm 453 

On Developing Beauty and Grace in Children 456 



Bathing Young Children — 458 
Beer and Cider for Children 457 

Ears, Large, to Modify 466 

Exercise 458 

Fresh Air, Importance of . . . 458 
Freckles and Sunburn 465 

The Complexion 468 



Hair, the 465 

Nose, a Pug, to Cure 466 

Nursing One's Own Children 457 

Stays, for Children 463 

The Teeth 465 



Ammonia, Use of 474 

Benzoin, Use of 475 

Borax, Use of 474 

Bran, Useof 475 

Cleopatra's Bath for 487 

Cold Cream 476 

Cosmetics 475 

Enameling the Skin 487 

Dew-water 469 

Face-masks 486 

Lait Virginal 478 

Affections of the Skin 

Acne 490 

Bites and Stings 493 

Black Heads 494 

Blisters 494 

Boils 494 

Bruises 495 

Burns and Scalds 495 

Chaps 496 

Dark Lines Under the Eyes . 496 

Dye 497 

Erysipelatous Inflammation 510 



Lavender-water 479 

Oatmeal, Use of 474 

Powders, Use of, 479 

Pure Water, Importance of. 469 

Rouge 483 

Soap, Importance of Pure 473 

Steaming the Skin 486 

Toilet Vinegars 478 

Virginal Milk 478 

Watermelon-juice 470 



Flabby Skin 497 

Flushing of the Face 497 

Freckles 498 

Frost Bites 498 

Greasiness of the Skin 498 

Hard and Stippled Skin 499 

Hepatic Spots 500 

Herpes Labialis 500 

Hives 500 

Horny or Thickened Skin 500 

Irritable Skin 500 



12 



CONTENTS. 



Affections of the Skin (Continued). 



Itch 500 

Itching of the Skin 503 

Ivy Poisoning 503 

Looseness of the Skin 503 

Mask 504 

Moles, 504 

Morphew 504 

Moth-spots 504 

Muddy Skin 505 

Nettle-rash 506 

Nettle Stings 505 

Nose, the " Cauliflower " 510 

Pallid Skin 506 

Patches 564 

Perspiration 507 

Pimples 506 

Prickly Heat 507 

Redness of the Skin 508 

The Hair 

Baldness 526 

Bandolene, a 526 

Bleaching the 526 

Curling and Crimping 527 

Damp Hair 529 

Dandruff or Scurf 529 

Depilitories 529 

Dry and Stiff Hair 529 

Greasy Hair 530 

Glossy Hair, 530 

Hair Dyes 533 

Eyebrows and Eyelashes 

The Eyebrows 546 

The Eyes, Ears and Nose 

The Ears 557 

The Eyes 550 

The Mouth and Teeth 

The Breath 564 

The Gums 564 

The" Hands and Arms , 

The Arms 584 

The Hands 572 

The Feet and Lower Limbs., 
The Feet 586 

The Figure 

The Bosom 598 

The Chest 595 

Leanness » . . . 607 



Ringworm 510 

Sallow Skin 513 

Scalds... 513 

Scars 51iJ 

Scratches 513 

Sensitive, or Thin Skin 514 

Smallpox Pitting 514 

Stings 515 

Stains 515 

Stippled Skin 515 

Sunburn 515 

Sycosis 516 

Tan 516 

Tattoo Marks 517 

Thickened Skin - .... 500 

Varicose Veins 517 

Warts 517 

Wrinkles 518 

520 



Hair Restorers 537 

Loss of Color in Hair 537 

Lice < .... 538 

Parasites 538 

Red, or Sandy Hair 538 

Superfluous Hair 538 

Switches, to Freshen 539 

Thin and tailing Hair 540 

Tenderness of Scalp 544 

Wigs, to Bleach 545 



546 

I TheEyelashes 548 

550 

I The Nose 555 



559 

The Lips 559 

The Teeth 566 

, 572 

The Nails 582 



586 

The Lower Limbs 594 

595 

Obesity 605 

The Waist 604 




INTRODUCTIONS. 



S an introduction is a social indorsement, 
discrimination should be used in intro- 
ducing people, especially those of whose 
character one is ignorant. It is perfectly 
proper to say to a young gentleman solicit- 
ing an introduction to a young lady, "I 
fear I hardly know you well enough to 
introduce you. I beg you to wait until her 
parents can present you. " On the other 
hand too much formality is not desirable. Strict eti- 
quette is opposed to indiscriminate introductions, and 
most society people are very careful to ascertain whether 
an introduction is mutually desired before venturing tu 
hazard the ceremony. 

INTRODUCTIONS SHOULD BE DESIRED BEFORE GIVEN. 

It may be set down as an established rule that no 
gentleman should be presented to a lady until she has 
been consulted and given an opportunity to refuse, and 
two ladies are not introduced until the wishes of both 
are ascertained, and it is mutually desired. 

In smaller towns, and among people of the same 
<; set, " many hold that an introduction hurts no one, and 
as it is easy to repel an undesirable acquaintance, even 
after an introduction, the rigid rules of etiquette are 
ignored. 



28 INTRODUCTIONS. 

introduce the gentleman to the lady he is expected to 
escort to the table. As we have elsewhere stated the 
rule that "the roof is an introduction " which is gain- 
ing ground, enables the guests to chat pleasantly- 
together. In the country, however, a general intro- 
duction of all the guests frequently takes place. 

REQUIREMENTS OF A BALL ROOM INTRODUCTION. 

When a gentleman is introduced to a lady at a ball, 
it is presumed he will show her some attention, and 
either dance or promenade with her, or, if they do not 
take the floor, talk to her through one dance. Such in- 
troductions, however, necessitate no further acquaint- 
ance unless mutually desired. 

STREET INTRODUCTIONS. 

It is not necessary to introduce a friend who may be 
accompanying you to the acquaintances you may chance 
to meet on the street, in the cars, etc. Such indis- 
criminate introductions serve no good purpose and are 
uncalled for. When given they involve no further re- 
cognition. A gentleman lifts his hat and bows when 
introduced to a lady on the street. When accompany- 
ing a friend who enters into conversation with some 
acquaintance casually met, you should give a parting 
salutation on separating, the same as your friend. This 
is the rule even if you were not introduced. 

PRESENTING LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. 

The one bearing a letter of introduction never de- 
livers it in person in England, but sends it with his 
card. The reverse is the rule on the continent. In 
America we incline to the English rule and a letter of 
introduction may be sent by mail accompanied by a 



"There is no outward sign of courtesy that does not rest on a deep 
moral foundation." — McGovern. 

"Manners are the shadows of great virtues."— Whateley. 

One of the convenient and attractive features of the book is 
the series of smalt sub-headings like those which you will notice 
here. These are adopted all through the w T ork, and will enable 
anyone to readily find any desired subject, without waste of time. 
This article on Introductions is long and complete. It is much the 
best article on that subject ever published. In fact, all the sub- 
jects discussed in this splendid book at all, are treated clearly and 
fully. 
Manners— Face page 28. 



28 INTRODUCTIONS. 

introduce the gentleman to the lady he is expected to 
escort to the table. As we have elsewhere stated the 
rule that "the roof is an introduction " which is gain- 
ing ground, enables the guests to chat pleasantly 
together. In the country, however, a general intro- 
duction of all the guests frequently takes place. 

REQUIREMENTS OF A BALL ROOM INTRODUCTION. 

When a gentleman is introduced to a lady at a ball, 
it is presumed he will show her some attention, and 
either dance or promenade with her, or, if they do not 
take the floor, talk to her through one dance. Such in- 
troductions, however, necessitate no further acquaint- 



salutation on separating, the same as your friend. This 
is the rule even if you were not introduced. 

PRESENTING LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. 

The one bearing a letter of introduction never de- 
livers it in person in England, but sends it with his 
card. The reverse is the rule on the continent. In 
America we incline to the English rule and a letter of 
introduction may be sent by mail accompanied by a 



SALUTATIONS. 




T would be an interesting study to trace the or- 
igin and development of our various forms 
of salutation, and also those which are ob- 
served by the other nations of the earth. 
Many of the forms of salutation seem to 
have had their origin in acts of worship, 
and each nation has its own peculiar forms, 
some of which are quite curious. Among the 
Laplanders, friends salute by rubbing their 
noses together, and the same custom prevails in some of 
the South Sea Islands. In some African tribes friends 
greet each other by rubbing their toes together, and in 
some other tribes they scratch each other's heads. The 
Chinese bow low and hospitably ask "Have you eaten 
your rice?" The Turk, with folded arms, bends very low, 
and the Hindoos nearly touch the ground with their faces. 
The Bedouin bestows his benediction with "God grant 
you a happy morning," and the Spaniard says "God be 
with you, sir." The Neapolitan piously says "Grow in 
holiness," and the Hungarian "God keep you well," while 
the Egyptians, says Heroditus in his day, would drop 
their hands on their knees and ask "Do you sweat copi- 
ously?" The German greets you with a "How do you 
find yourself?" and the Frenchman asks "How do you 
carry yourself?'* 

In England and America the usual forms of saluta- 
tion are the bow, shaking the hand, the kiss and the ver- 
bal salutation. 



INVITATIONS, ACCEPTANCES AND 
REGRETS. 




N modern society invitations, acceptances 
and regrets have come to be an important 
part of etiquette. The forms observed are 
fixed and uniform and all should be famil- 
iar with them. If they are strictly observed 
many misunderstandings and much mortifi- 
cation may be prevented, for to receive a 
vague and indefinite invitation often leaves 
a lady uncertain about how to dress and 

how formal the occasion will be. These uncertainties 

are very perplexing and often annoying. 

INVITATIONS. 

For small and informal dinners or other gatherings, 
invitations are often written in the first person. The 
degree of intimacy existing between the host and guest 
will regulate the form, as is the case in the writing of 
all notes and letters, but the prescribed forms given 
hereafter for ceremonious occasions need not be used in 
such cases. The length of time in advance at which 
such invitations are sent out may vary from ten to two 
or three days, according to circumstances. It is best, 
however, to send out invitations a sufficient time in ad- 
vance, instead of waiting until the eleventh hour ; and s 



40 INVITATIONS, ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS. 

again, it is not best to undervalue your entertainment, 
and in false humility assume less formality than the 
occasion warrants. 

When they are engraved, any good engraving firm 
can give the information desired about the size of cards 
and so on, but the plainer and simpler the style the 
more elegant Many ladies, however, prefer to write 
their own invitations, and it is always in good taste to 
do so. The following is the formula universally used : 






■id . Jd&e^ 



For other entertainments the woras av «. 

may be omitted, and the words "Music," "Dancing," 
"Headings and Eecitations," "Garden Party," or what- 
ever the entertainment is, written or engraved in the 
lower left hand corner. 

The initials R. S. V. P. are an abbreviation of the 
French words Repondez s'il vous plait, meaning "Reply 
if you please." Many people, however, write instead 
the English words, " The favor of an answer is re- 
quested." Either form is proper, but the latter is usual 



"Those things which now seem frivolous and slight, will be of serious 
consequence to you after they have made you once ridiculous — Eos- 
common. 

All the correct forms for invitations, acceptances and regrets 
are given in this work, as seen in the specimen here shown. At 
the bottom of the page you will notice the explanation of the 
abbreviation R. S. V. P. Great pains are always taken to explain 
the correct use and meaning of every thing of that kind. Igno- 
rance of the correct forms makes one appear very awkward at 
times, or even ill-bred, and for that reason every one should be 
familiar with them. 
Manners— Face page 40. 



1 



40 INVITATIONS, ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS. 

again, it is not best to undervalue your entertainment, 
and in false humility assume less formality than the 
occasion warrants. 

When they are engraved, any good engraving firm 
can give the information desired about the size of cards 
and so on, but the plainer and simpler the style the 
more elegant.. Many ladies, however, prefer to write 
their own invitations, and it is always in good taste to 
do so. The following is the formula universally used : 





C/V^-l. tvnd ' Or$4d. 


J<%e&4-tze c 7d>/efrCrt}' 






'ketfru&i'f /^-e A^cz^u4^- tff 




G^>4 


. <^mC^^. !d&-j<ted 


<xwyifaz>'Wif twt/tw-'n&l, 


€■74- (SZ^t^d'dtz-'M- wewtsn-tz , dsyfol'st /e^n^T, 






€l€ dsw&w & 


cfoc$. 






Jo J/. ^L^n-c&wz 


Cyf^e^i-u-e. 








^.^.(F. 


& 



For other entertainments the words " at dinner" 
may be omitted, and the words "Music," "Dancing," 
"Readings and Recitations," "Garden Party," or what- 
ever the entertainment is, written or engraved in the 
lower left hand corner. 

The initials R. S. V. P. are an abbreviation of the 
French words Bepondez s'il vons plait, meaning "Reply 
if you please." Many people, however, write instead 
the English words, " The favor of an answer is re- 
quested." Either form is proper, but the latter is usual 



50 INVITATIONS* ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS. 

follow the style and form of the invitation in answering. 
To say "an invite" for "an invitation" would be a 
horrible blunder, and the words " avail " or " preclude " 
are never in good form, as to say that anything will " pre- 
clude your accepting," etc. Adhere closely to the forms 
given. 

An invitation to dinner should be answered promptly, 
(this is very important) and either accepted or declined 
positively. Answer the exact form of the invitation as 
follows : 



d*& 


twit/ C^v^'td. 


Q^ 


vn4><wi 


IZCC^A/ 'Z4M%J% At 


wzdtt'be 


%%e 


A^U4e iw>wmi/u><m, 


• 


&/$*. 


tZWtZ Cx^W. 


^■i^c^e//, 


j&l ^TOy^^e^ v-w, C^n^ld 


ZMZ^f 


€^€^24^2^, 


</(^ecewi^e4, /eriffiT, &4 d&wew 


■0 CWO&. 



The words " accept with pleasure the kind invitation " 
are often used, although " polite invitation " is now pre- 
ferred by many. Either is proper. One writer states 
that "kind" is "English you know," while "polite" is 
not. Possibly. But " polite " has the sanction of the 
best American usage. So also the form " Mr. and Mrs. 
Jones have great pleasure in accepting, etc.," is often 
used. To write " will accept," however, is not correct, 
as you either accept or decline at the time the answer is 
written, so that the present and not the future tense 
should be used. Also accept the invitation "for dinner," 
and not " to dinner," or " to dine." 




CARDS. 



OTHING better shows the standing of ladies 
or gentlemen, or their familiarity with the 
usages of the best society, than their use 
of cards. The quality of the card, its size 
and style, the hour and manner in which 
it is left — all these convey a silent message 
to the experienced eye which indicates the 
character of the caller. In the present con- 
dition of society it is almost impossible to 
do without cards. Savages do not use them, nor do 
coarse and uncultivated people, but they mark a high 
order of development. Their use should be studied. 

There has been less change in cards within the last 
fifty or one hundred years than in almost any other of 
the usages of society. 

THE FORMS AND STYLES OF CARDS. 

The card should be printed on the best of card-board, 
but it should be plain, unglazed, and without gilt edges 
— those styles being out of date. The plain script letter, 
without flourishes, is the most graceful and finished of 
cards, the old English, German text and other fancy 
letters being no longer used by the best society. The 
engraved cards are in every way preferable to the 
printed ones, although these are used by some for 
economy's sake. The best taste does not countenance 
the printing of a fac-simile of one's autograph. Written 
cards are not so elegant or refined as the plain engraved 
script. The size should be neither too large nor too small, 
but a gentleman's card is a little smaller than that of a 
lady. A visiting card should not bear a business address. 



58 CARDS. 

little better form by young men of fashion, as "Mr. John 
W. Holden." 

" No titles are used in America save military, naval or 
judicial ones," says a high authority, but physicians are 
allowed to use the prefix "Dr." or the affix "M. D.," as 
" Dr. John Brown " or "John Brown, M. D.," the latter 
being preferable. A clergyman, a judge, or an army or 
navy officer, may use his title on his card, but militia or 
complimentary titles or coats-of-arms are not allowable 
on visiting cards. 

A military card would be : 




When a young lady has a regular reception day, her 
card may be as follows: 




60 CARDS. 

The varieties of business cards are almost endless, 
and, of course, we cannot attempt to give such forms in 
a work of this character. 

p. p. c. cards. 

When leaving town for a protracted absence P. P. C. 
cards are sent out, but they are not sent now, as formerly, 
when leaving for a short absence only — as for a trip to the 
sea shore. The initials P. P. C, stand for the French 
words Pour prendre conge (meaning to take leave) and 
are always in the lower right hand corner of the card, 
and in capitals. It is an evidence of ignorance to use 
the small letters, p. p. c. The initials P. D. A., (Pour 
dire adieu ) mean the same, but they are not often used. 
These cards may be sent by mail, indeed cards are being 
sent more and more by mail every year. 

TURNING DOWN CARDS. 

It was formerly the custom to turn down a corner of 
the card to indicate that the call was made in person, but 
that fashion is almost obsolete now. Turning down a 
corner (usually the upper right hand one) indicates that 
the call was made on more than one person, and folding 
it across the end (usually the right end) or middle in- 
dicates that a personal call was made. In calling on 
old-school ladies accustomed to this practice, it may still 
be observed, but it is very unusual at present. Another 
authority says, that leaving a card with a corner turned 
indicates that its owner left it in person, and turning 
the edges indicates that the call was intended for the 
young ladies, as well as the mistress of the house. As 
our readers will see, the observances are not uniform — 
and they are going out of date. Bending corners to in- 
dicate condolence, etc., has given place to pencilling a 
sentence on the card. 



CALLING CUSTOMS. 




N sparsely settled farming districts, people 
" visit " their friends, but the formal call is 
unknown. Those, however, who aspire to 
enter the best social circles in the cities 
and large towns, should learn the rules that 
govern calls and cards, for they underlie 
all social intercourse. Those reared and 
educated in the polished circles of a city 
imbibe these rules as part of their training, 
but there is a large class constantly moving up in the 
social scale, and others moving into the cities from the 
country, and as they prosper in the world they are 
drawn into society and must learn its rules and observ- 
ances. These customs are the outgrowth of long ex- 
perience, and wonderfully facilitate the interchange of 
civilities, which constitutes society, and to the experi- 
enced eye the standing of the stranger is readily indi- 
cated by the knowledge or ignorance displayed in regard 
to these observances. 

FIKST CALLS. 

In nearly all cities and large towns it is the rule for 
the older residents to call first on new-comers. In 
Washington, however, this rule is reversed and the new- 
comers call first on the residents. The rule works fairly 
well in Washington where it seems to be a necessity, 
but outside of that city it has never found favor in 
America, although it is quite general in European 
cities. 

Hospitable residents should call on a new-comer as 



CALLING CUSTOMS. 71 

when the mistress is not receiving, should be seen if 
possible, and the servant admonished for the next occa- 
sion. These rules are*"made mainly to protect those who 
are over-burdened with visitors, and give them time for 
any pursuit they may be interested in, but in smaller 
cities and towns, and with those not thus over-burdened, 
it is better to receive all callers when possible. So, also, 
those who have no regular reception days, should aim to 
receive all visitors. An affectation of exclusiveness by 
ladies in small towns is very snobbish. 

No lady should keep a caller waiting unless it is im- 
possible to avoid it, and then word should be sent that 
she will be in soon. 

If a lady is at home to certain individuals, but to no 
others, the servant should be plainly instructed whom to 
admit, as that is the only way to prevent awkward mis- 
takes. 

CALLS OP CONGRATULATION, CONDOLENCE, ETC. 

Calls of congratulation may be made after an engage- 
ment is announced, or after a marriage, or after the birth 
of a child, or when any cause for congratulation arises. 
Calls of condolence should be made when death or mis- 
fortune of any kind overtakes an acquaintance — in short 
these calls are an effort to obey the scripture injunction 
to u weep with those that weep, and rejoice with those 
that rejoice." Do not call too soon after a birth. Wait 
until the happy mother is able to receive her friends, — it 
is usual to wait a month. After a death intimate friends 
call in about ten days — others after a month. When a 
formal announcement of an engagement is made, a call 
of congratulation should follow within a few days. 
After a marriage, calls of congratulation are made on 
the parents who sent the invitations to the wedding, as 
well as on the newly married couple. A call of congrat- 



NEW YEAR'S CALLS. 




ROM the earliest times, and among most of the 
nations of the earth, the first day of the new 
year has been set apart for religious festivi- 
ties and social observances. The Egyptians 
and Chinese, the Greeks and Romans, and 
the Jews, Mohammedans and Christians, have 
all alike united in their special observance 
of Le jour de Van, as the French call New 
Year's day. In America, the custom of mak- 
ing New Year's calls seems to have originated with the 
old Knickerbocker families of New York, who brought 
the custom with them from Holland, where their ances- 
tors termed it " The great day of cake," and dispensed 
a liberal hospitality to all visitors. 

In many of the larger cities the custom of making 
New Year's calls has of late years become less general 
than formerly, owing to a variety of causes, — such as 
the difficulty of making "the grand round " by those 
with large circles of acquaintances ; the abuse of the 
general hospitality of the day by many upstarts, who took 
advantage of the occasion to crowd themselves in at 
places where they had no right to call, and so on. In 
many localities, however, the day still is, and will long 
continue to be fittingly observed, and as fashion is pro- 
verbially fickle, calling may be restored to popular favor 
among our most fashionable people at any time, for 
what can be more appropriate than to begin the New 
Year with a general manifestation of good will and re- 
gard for others? 



VISITING, 




OCIETY pays more attention to the etiquette 
of visiting now than formerly. The old 
custom of inviting friends to " come when- 
ever they can, and stay as long as they like," 
causes so much inconvenience that it is not 
much practiced at present by the best soci- 
ety. Friends accepting such invitations 
often come at the most inopportune times, 
and sadly disarrange one's plans, and, to 
avoid this, the rule now is to invite them for a specified 
time, as, for example, " I shall be glad to have you come 
on Wednesday and stay a week with us." 

HINTS TO THE HOSTESS. 

If invited to come on 'n certain day, the guest may 
be met at the railway station by some member of the 
family ; if the guest is a stranger this rule is obligatory. 
On arriving at the house the guest should be pleasantly 
welcomed, ,and at once shown to her room. Previous to 
her arrival, every arrangement for her comfort should 
be made, such as providing plenty of fresh water, clean 
towels, and so on, Study the convenience of the guest 
and conform to her habits as far as possible. By the 
hospitable host the horses and carriages, books, grounds, 
and everything, are placed at the disposal of a visitor. 
The l)est hostess the writer ever saw had a most cordial 
way of greeting a guest, but there was an utter absence 



BIRTHS, CHRISTENINGS, CAUDLE 

PARTIES AND CONFIR- 

MATONS. 




HEN a child is born, the lady friends 
and acquaintances call and leave cards, 
with kind inquiries, or send them by a 
servant. Gentlemen do not call at such 
times, but they may visit the happy father 
and inquire after the health of the mother 
and child. When the mother is able to 
see her friends, she sends her cards, 
" with thanks for kind inquiries " written 
thereon, to all those who have called, or else she has a 
caudle party. 

Children are usually named after some relative or 
intimate friend, but there is so much freedom of choice 
allowed the parents in selecting a name, that no rules 
can be laid down. Good taste, however, would seem to 
suggest that names be selected for their simplicity and 
beauty, rather than their oddity. 

The baptism and christening are performed in ac- 
cordance with the rites of the church to which the 
parents belong. In the Roman Catholic church, if the 
child is feeble, the ceremony takes place as soon as pos- 
sible, the priest performing the ceremony at the bedside 
of the mother. In the Episcopal church, the ceremony 
generally takes place as soon as the mother is able to go 
out, or when the child is about a month old. In olden 



96 BIRTHS, CHRISTENINGS, ETC. 

tion, for it is the hero of the occasion; but parents 
should remember that too much excitement is bad for 
so young a child, and not overtax its little nerves. 

Although the church performs these ceremonies free 
of charge, it is customary to give the clergyman a pres- 
ent, if the parents are able. 

When the christening takes place at the home of the 
parents, invitations may be issued to the relatives only, 
or the friends and acquaintances may be included also. 
The invitation may be engraved, or written in the fol- 
lowing form : 



costume. Any other hour may be cnosen, u. ueoxiou, a^ 
four or five o'clock. The house should be decorated 
with flowers, and after the ceremonies, which are per- 
formed in accordance with the customs of the church, 
to which the parents belong, congratulations are offered 
to the mother and father. The guests are then offered 
refreshments, which are about the same as those usually 
prepared for other receptions. 

CAUDLE PARTIES. 

In olden times it was the custom to present those who 
called to offer their congratulations on the arrival of a 
little stranger (usually about three days after its birth), 
with a kind of spiced gruel, flavored with rum or 



"Since custom is the principal magistrate of human life, let men by 
all means endeavor to obtain good customs." — Lord Bacon. 

One of the striking features of this work is that it gives all 
the new customs, as in this article on "Caudle Parties," which 
are a recent revival of an old custom. The utmost pains have 
been taken to give the fullest and best information on all such 
subjects, and to make the book fully abreast of the times. It is a 
thoroughly modern work, in fact as well as in name. 
Manners— Face page 96. 



96 BIBTHS, CHEISTENINGS, ETC. 

tion, for it is the hero of the occasion; but parents 
should remember that too much excitement is bad for 
so young a child, and not overtax its little nerves. 

Although the church performs these ceremonies free 
of charge, it is customary to give the clergyman a pres- 
ent, if the parents are able. 

When the christening takes place at the home of the 
parents, invitations may be issued to the relatives only, 
or the friends and acquaintances may be included also. 
The invitation may be engraved, or written in the fol- 
lowing form : 

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Thurman request the 
honor of Mr. and Mrs. Brown's presence at the 
christening of their daughter (or son), on Thursday, 
May 10th, at three o'clock. Reception from two 
to five. 
No. 180 Adams Street. 

These invitations should be promptly answered, and 
those who attend should wear a reception or evening 
costume. Any other hour may be chosen, if desired, as 
four or five o'clock. The house should be decorated 
with flowers, and after the ceremonies, which are per- 
formed in accordance with the customs of the churclr 
to which the parents belong, congratulations are offered 
to the mother and father. The guests are then offered 
refreshments, which are about the same as those usually 
prepared for other receptions. 

CAUDLE PAETIES. 

In olden times it was the custom to present those who 
called to offer their congratulations on the arrival of a 
little stranger (usually about three days after its birth), 
with a kind of spiced gruel, flavored with rum or 



COURTSHIP AND ENGAGEMENT 
ETIQUETTE. 




ROB ABLY no other theme has so great a fas- 
cination for all classes and conditions of 
people as love ; and as this universal and 
all-powerful sentiment finds its outward 
expression in courtship and marriage, the 
etiquette of these subjects must receive 
attention in a work of this character. 

In primitive times, and among savages, 
there were three forms of courtship — 
capture, purchase and service. The method of cap- 
ture was for a man who wanted a wife to seize and 
abduct her from a neighboring tribe, in which case 
she became his property ; and to this custom Sir John 
Lubbock attributes the origin of monogamy. In the 
custom of purchase, the man bought a wife, paying for 
her in cows, camels, reindeer, or other property ; and 
in service, the man performed a certain amount of 
service for the parents, to win the daughter, as in the 
case of Jacob who worked seven years for Rachel — or 
fourteen rather, to finally get her. In the method of 
capture, there was little chance for personal choice, as 
it was apt to be dangerous sport to hunt a wife, and a 
man caught the first game he could get ; but in pur- 
chase and service there was more chance for personal 
preference. Since beginning to write this article, 
a new book has appeared, called " Romantic Love and 
Personal Beauty." The author breaks new ground on 



ETIQUETTE OF WEDDINGS. 




HEN a courtship has culminated in an en- 
gagement, the next step is that of mar- 
riage. This is both a civil and religious 
ceremony, but it has, by universal con- 
sent, been made a joyous and festive 
occasion in all nations and ages. The 
union of two loving hearts invokes an 
approving smile from all classes of peo- 
ple, and while the forms vary somewhat 
in different religious denominations, and in civil and 
religious marriages, it can be set down as a rule that 
the ceremony of a grand wedding is always substanti- 
ally the same. 

A WEDDING IN CHUBCH. 

If the wedding is held in church, the following is 
the usual form. The guests should arrive early, and 
they are escorted to their seats by the ushers, who seat 
the nearest relatives in the front seats, the bride's kin 
on the left and the bridegroom's on the right, and dis- 
tant relatives and acquaintances further back. The 
bride and bridegroom do not meet on the wedding day 
until they meet at the chancel of the church. 

The bridegroom should drive to the church in com- 
pany with his " best man," and arrive there before the 
bride, waiting for her in the vestry room. He should 
wear a full morning dress — that is, a dark or black 
frock coat and vest, light trousers, light tie, and light 
tinted gloves, if any. 

The bride should be dressed in white silk, satin, 



ETIQUETTE OF WEDDINGS. 115 

memento of the occasion, and the bridegroom often 
gives a simple present to each groomsman. Of course, 
without some excellent reason, no one should refuse to 
act as bridesmaid or groomsman, for it is a mark of 
m friendship to be asked to serve. A bridesmaid who is 
prevented from officiating by illness or other cause, 
should notify the bride at once, so that she can make 
other arrangements. Of course, married women should 
never be selected for bridesmaids. 

Occasionally there is only one bridesmaid, in which 
case she should be escorted to the altar by the bride- 
groom's brother, her own fianc&, or some other friend. 
It is not the correct thing for the " best man " to escort 
her, as his duties are to attend to the bridegroom until 
the ceremony is over. 

THE USHERS. 

The ushers wear a full morning suit, and light 
gloves, and a button-hole bouquet. They arrive at the 
church early, and seat the guests, giving the relatives 
the front seats (those of the groom on the right, and 
those of the bride on the left), and after the ceremonies 
they go to the reception and assist in presenting the 
guests to the bride and bridegroom. In England, the 
sexton of the church seats the guests, and there are no 
ushers. An usher may very properly ask a lady who 
wants a seat whether she is a relative of either party, 
as he cannot be expected to know all those in attendance. 

THE WEDDING PRESENTS. 

The custom of giving wedding presents originated 
among the thrifty Dutch, in a very generous desire to 
help the young people begin housekeeping, but it has 
become too often an occasion for the proud display of 



WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES. 




HE object of anniversaries is to recall viv- 
idly to mind events that are past, and 
which have left an impression or marked 
a crisis in our lives. It has now become 
the general custom to celebrate the wed- 
ding anniversaries, and these occasions 
may be made very pleasant, but the cus- 
tom of giving presents at these times is 
often, as at weddings, carried to an ex- 
treme, and any ostentatious display is vulgar and ill-bred. 
The first anniversaries are merely occasions of cor- 
diality and pleasure. For the paper wedding, which is 
the first anniversary, the presents should be entirely of 
paper; and for the second anniversary (the cotton wed- 
ding) the presents should be of cotton cloth. To be in 
keeping with the occasion, the invitations also are 
printed on cotton cloth. 

The wooden wedding (the fifth anniversary) is usu- 
ally the signal for a frolic, and anything, from a wooden 
mustard spoon to a set of furniture, may be sent in. 
Elegant wood carvings are often given. Invitations 
may be sent on the delicate and beautiful wooden cards, 
which are almost equal to ivory. 

The tin wedding (the tenth anniversary) is often 
very gay, and the fun waxes " fast and furious." Any- 
thing made of tin may be sent, and the presents are 
often fantastic and ridiculous. The invitations may be 
written or printed on tin cards, or on note paper, with a 
tin card enclosed in the same envelope. 



WEDDING ANNIVERSAEIES. 129 

of wedding cake is demanded, and the house is decor- 
ated with flowers. 

For the convenience of our readers, we append a 
list of the wedding anniversaries in the order in which 
they come, but many of them are little observed. Au- 
thorities differ in regard to some of them, as for example, 
the fifteenth and twentieth, and for this reason we give 
the different forms. The crown-diamond is new, and, 
of course, very rare, but we have seen an account of one 
such wedding where the combined ages of the couple 
amounted to one hundred and seventy-eight years! 

First Anniversary Paper Wedding 

Second Anniversary Cotton Wedding 

Third Anniversary Leather Wedding 

Fifth Anniversary Wooden Wedding 

Seventh Anniversary Woolen Wedding 

Tenth Anniversary Tin Wedding 

Twelfth Anniversary Silk and Fine Linen Wedding 

Fifteenth Anniversary Crystal (sometimes the Iron) Wedding 

Twentieth Anniversary China (sometimes the Floral) Wedding 

Twenty-fifth Anniversary Silver Wedding 

Thirtieth Anniversary Pearl Wedding 

Thirty-fifth Anniversary Coral Wedding 

Fortieth Anniversary Euby Wedding 

Forty-fifth Anniversary Bronze Wedding 

Fiftieth Anniversary Golden Wedding 

Sixty-fifth Anniversary Crown-Diamond Wedding 

Seventy-fifth Anniversary Diamond Wedding 



ETIQUETTE OF FUNERALS AND 
MOURNING. 




HEN death enters a family and claims 
some loved one as its prize, it is incum- 
bent on all to show the mourners the 
utmost kindness and consideration. The 
world has always been awe-struck by the 
appalling mystery of death, but the tend- 
ency at present is towards less gloom 
and outward display of the " pomp, pride 
and circumstance of woe," a«d many now 
discard altogether the outward emblems of an inward 
grief. And yet a mourning costume does, to a certain 
extent, shield the wearer from the rude jostlings of a 
gay and thoughtless world. 

ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FUNERAL. 

The gentlemen of the family see those who are to 
officiate at the ceremonies, as the ladies see none but 
their most intimate friends before the funeral. It is 
customary to leave the details of the funeral to some 
near friends, but in case there are none such prepared 
to take charge of the matter, it is usually left to the 
undertaker. A statement of the amount to be expended 
should be made to him, and then he can lay his plans 
accordingly. No one is expected to go beyond his 
means, and display at funerals is in bad taste. Even 
the rich now study simplicity. 

If the deceased belonged to some organization which 
expects to conduct the funeral, prompt notice of tht 



ETIQUETTE OF FUNERALS AND MOUKNING. 135 

Society will not intrude upon their privacy until such 
notice is received, although cards can be sent with the 
words, "To inquire," written at the top. Cards in reply 
to these should have, " Thanks for kind inquiries," writ- 
ten on them. 

DRESS AND PERIODS OF MOURNING. 

The question is often asked, how long " the habili- 
ments of woe " should be worn. In America, society 
has not laid down any very strict rules, but the follow- 
ing are those sanctioned by the best authorities and the 
usage of society: 

For a Husband. — The usual period of mourning is 
two years, although it is sometimes shortened to one. 
For the first six months the dress should be of crape 
and bomba^ne, with a crape bonnet and long crape veil. 
For the first three months the veil is not lifted in the 
street at all. After six months the crape may be re- 
moved, and grenadine and dead trimmings used. After 
the first year a lighter veil may take the place of the 
heavy one, and the mourning may be lightened some- 
what. The custom of wearing purple the second year 
is obsolete. Jet ornaments only, or diamonds set as 
mementos, should be worn. The black kid gloves, which 
are worn in the deepest mourning, are objectionable in 
warm weather. The gants de Suede or black silk gloves 
are pleasanter to wear, and in better style. Seal-skins 
and black furs of all kinds are worn when in deep 
mourning. Some, though few, hold that the mourning 
should not be lightened at all for two years. 

Many widows never leave off their mourning, which 
is considered an especial mark of respect for the dead. 

For a Wife. — The widower wears mourning for one 
year in America, and two years in England. Widowers 
re-enter society much earlier than widows, and it is an 



ETIQUETTE OF DRESS. 




LTHOUGH it is not true that " dress makes 
the man," it is true that dress is an index 
of character, and as such by no means 
unimportant. Our first impression is pro- 
duced on strangers by the clothes we 
wear, and, as first impressions are often 
lasting, it is best that they should be 
favorable. A shabbily dressed man feels 
awkward and ill at ease, and a shabbily 
dressed woman still more so. Nature provides a suita- 
ble costume for plants and all animals, excepting man, 
but the "lords of creation" must devise their own cov- 
ering, and exercise their own taste in so doing. A due 
regard for etiquette would require every one to dress 
well and suitably for every occasion . To make the best 
appearance they can with the means at their command, 
is incumbent on both men and women. Women of tact 
know full well that even sensible men take pride in their 
wives' appearance. Careless and slovenly women lose 
thereby a measure of their influence, for men, as a rule, 
are not attracted by slatterns, and the most devoted wife 
can never be proud of a slovenly husband. It is prob- 
able that not only is dress an index of character, but it 
doubtless also influences the manner and disposition 
somewhat, so that mean and shabby clothing tends to 
give any one mean and shabby ways. 

" Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, 
But not expressed in fancy — rich not gaudy; 
For the apparel oft proclaims the man." 



DINNER PARTIES. 




HE subjects of eating and dressing doubt- 
less occupy more of the attention of man- 
kind than any others. Savages, in their 
" struggle for existence," think much of 
what they shall eat, or, rather, what they 
can get to eat, but the manner of eating 
it giyes them little concern, and they 
greedily devour their food. Civilized men, 
however, carefully consider not only what 
they shall eat, but, also, how they shall eat it, or the 
manners of the table. It would be interesting to trace 
the art of dining through its various phases. In olden 
times our ancestors carved their food with their hunting 
knives, and the joints, in their transit from the kitchen 
to the dining hall, had to be guarded by ushers, who, 
with rods, beat off the " letchers " as they attempted to 
seize the dinner from the cooks. 

The Anglo-Saxons lived largely on bread, and hence 
the domestic was called a " loaf -eater," and the lady of 
the house the " loaf -giver." The bread was baked in large, 
flat cakes, which the superstitious cooks marked with a 
cross, to preserve them from the perils of the fire! 
Milk, butter and cheese, were also eaten in those days, 
and bacon was the principal meat. Boasted meat was 
served on the spit, or rod, on which it was cooked, and 
the guest tore or cut off a piece to suit himself. A spoon 
was furnished each guest, and he used his hunting knife, 
which he drew from his belt, but forks were undreamed 
of. What need was there for forks when men had 

(160) 



DINNER PARTIES. 161 

fingers — and used them? Before dinner was served, 
and again at its close, a servant passed a basin of water 
and a towel to each guest. Under the circumstances the 
need was apparent, and this was doubtless the origin 
of the modern finger-bowl. 

There has been a steady advance from those times to 
the luxurious dinner table of the present day, and the 
studied and easy manners of the guests. A better ex- 
ample of the constantly changing and growing refine- 
ment of manners could hardly be found, but we have 
not space to further discuss the subject here. The 
growth of luxury in the last few years is strikingly illus- 

* -- - -i 4"; ™ ^„„+, T 



company, good waiters, and good cooking. 

THE INVITATIONS. 

The invitations should be sent ten days or two weeks 
in advance. They are issued in the name of both host 
and hostess, and after the form given in our chapter on 
* Invitations, Acceptances and Eegrets" (which see). 

Whether written or engraved, they should be on the 
finest note paper, with envelopes to match. The paper 



"The whole condition of society is elevated and improved by a due 
regard of its observances and its forms." — Mrs. Moore. 

We give nearly all of the article on "Dinner Parties" to 
show how fully and ably the various subjects in this work are 
treated. All the other chapters are equally able, but we have 
only room for one in these specimen pages. Take particular 
notice of the illustrated plan of set table. This is only one of the 
illustrations on that subject. The latest and most appropriate way 
to set a table and serve any meal is explained, and illustrated so 
clearly that a child can easily understand it. This point is new, 
and it is really a subject about which all ladies wish the best 
information. This splendid work has really a great many new 
and attractive features like this. 
Manners— Face page 161. 



DINNER PARTIES. 161 

fingers — and used them? Before dinner was served, 
and again at its close, a servant passed a basin of water 
and a towel to each guest. Under the circumstances the 
need was apparent, and this was doubtless the origin 
of the modern finger-bowl. 

There has been a steady advance from those times to 
the luxurious dinner table of the present day, and the 
studied and easy manners of the guests. A better ex- 
ample of the constantly changing and growing refine- 
ment of manners could hardly be found, but we have 
not space to further discuss the subject here. The 
growth of luxury in the last few years is strikingly illus- 
trated in the preparations for a modern dinner party, 
the whole world being often ransacked for novelties 
and delicacies. A thousand dollars is no unusual price 
for a single dinner for one or two dozen guests, and occa- 
sionally ten, or even twenty times that amount is spent. 
But rare dishes and choice wines will by no means en- 
sure an enjoyable dinner, and the great majority of 
dinner givers greatly over-estimate their importance. 
Quite as much (the writer has frequently thought more) 
real pleasure is often derived from the modest enter- 
tainments given by those in moderate circumstances, as 
from the ostentatious affairs given by the very rich, — 
which may console some of our not over-wealthy readers. 

The three essentials to a successful dinner are, good 
company, good waiters, and good cooking. 

THE INVITATIONS. 

The invitations should be sent ten days or two weeks 
in advance. They are issued in the name of both host 
and hostess, and after the form given in our chapter on 
" Invitations, Acceptances and Begrets" (which see). 

Whether written or engraved, they should be on the 
finest note paper, with envelopes to match. The paper 



162 DINNER PARTIES. 

should be plain and free from all ornaments, unless there 
be an initial or monogram stamped upon it. 

Seven o'clock, or from seven to eight, is the most 
usual hour for dinner in this country. Invitations, and 
acceptances or regrets, are sent by messenger, unless 
the distance makes it very inconvenient to do so, when 
the post may be used. An invitation to dinner is the 
highest social compliment, and should be answered im- 
mediately, and in the most formal manner, as given in 
the chapter on "Invitations" (which see). It is better 
to decline than to accept, if in doubt about being able 
to attend. If accepted, the engagement must be scru- 
pulously kept. If sickness, or other unforeseen cause, 
prevents attendance after having accepted an invitation, 
the hostess should be notified at the earliest possible 
moment, so that she may make other arrangements. 

When a verbal invitation is given, the plain infer- 
ence is, that it is to be an informal affair, with plain 
dressing, a small company, and early hours. 

THE NUMBER AND WHOM TO INVITE. 

The question of whom to invite will cause much de- 
liberation. While dinners are usually regarded as 
entertainments for married people, a few young persons 
will often add to its interest. Those invited should be 
of the same social standing, and a hostess with tact will 
be careful not to invite those who are known to be ene- 
mies, or who are disagreeable to each other, at the same 
time. Such persons can be invited on different occa- 
sions, and thus the feelings of both will be spared. 
Those invited need not necessarily be acquainted ; the 
invitation may offer them a good opportunity to become 
so. Then, too, the conversational powers of the guests 
should be considered. Some good talkers, and some 



DINNER PARTIES. 163 

good listeners, should be invited, and they should be so 
cleverly selected that they will affiliate readily. 

Then, again, the number to invite must be consid- 
ered. The old saw is, that the number should not be 
less than the Graces (three), nor more than the Muses 
(nine); but nine would bring four on one side of the 
table and three on the other, and either number would 
leave one odd lady or gentleman. Evidently no worse 
numbers than these could be selected. Many people 
also have a superstition (unfounded beyond doubt) that 
if thirteen meet at table one will die within a. year. 
The sensible hostess must decide the number to invite, 
and the size of the dining room and table will be taken 
into the account. It' is wise to test the table, so that no 
more will be invited than can be seated comfortably. 
To try and squeeze sixteen in, where only fourteen can 
be comfortable, is not pleasant. For a small dinner, ten 
is a good number. When four, eight, twelve, sixteen, 
or other numbers divisible by four, are invited, two gen- 
tlemen and two ladies must sit together, when the host 
and hostess sit at the head and foot of the table, which 
has always been the objection to these numbers, but the 
guests can be easily arranged if the numbers six, ten, 
fourteen, eighteen, etc., are invited. 

Never invite a gentleman without his wife, nor a lady 
without her husband. There are exceptions to all rules, 
and to this the exception would be an emergency im- 
peratively demanding another guest, and great intimacy 
of the parties. No more than three are invited from 
the same family. 

THE TABLE APPOINTMENTS. 

The French and the Eussian methods of serving din- 
ners are the two principal styles. In the French method 
the dishes are set on the table just as they are cooked, 



164 DINNER PARTIES. 

and are carved and served by the host and hostess ; while 
in the Russian method they are carved and served by 
the servants, leaving the host and hostess free to engage 
in conversation. 

The usual plan of serving all formal dinners at pres- 
ent is a la Busse (the Russian style); that is, the ser- 
vants pass everything. The table cloth should always be 
white, and of some material that will ivash. It may be 
plain damask, or some elaborate open work pattern, but 
no one can go astray in using damask. The plan of 
putting a colored cloth underneath an embroidered one, 
to show off the open work, is thought by many to be 
inelegant, and is of questionable taste. It is always a 
good plan to spread cotton-flannel, or white felt, over 
the table, before putting on the table cloth. 

In decorating the table few rules can be given, as it 
is so largely a matter of taste, but one very popular 
form is to have a small silver-edged mirror in the centre 
of the table, either round or oval, on which rests a cut- 
glass bowl, holding a carelessly arranged bunch of roses 
and buds and maiden-hair ferns. This centre decora- 
tion is not removed during the meal, and its prevailing 
color dominates the plate bouquets and the decorations 
of the room. 

The table decorations should be so low that people 
on opposite sides of the table can readily see over them, 
or so high that they can see under them, never obstruct- 
ing the view of the guests. Flowers that have a strong 
fragrance, like the tuberose, jasmine and hyacinth, are 
not as suitable as pinks, violets, roses, etc., which please 
the eye without emitting too strong an odor. ' A very 
popular style of ornamentation is a low, flat, round or 
oblong centre piece, with bouquets at each corner which 
correspond with the central design. There is almost no 
limit to the figures and designs in which flowers, fruits 



EXPLANATION. 

OF 

OUR PLSN OF DINNER TIBLE. 



Our illustration is intended to show the proper method of setting a table 
for a company of six, where the carving is to be done by the host, which is the 
most approved American plan. In cities, when an elaborate dinner is given, a 
caterer is often employed, and then, of course, he manages all the details ; but 
our purpose is only to outline the most approved plan of serving a dinner to 
those who are not versed in all the points involved. When it is desired to 
carve at the sideboard, the plates, instead of being set before the host, are 
distributed at each place; but otherwise the same general arrangement 
prevails. 

Our illustration shows two knives and two forks at each plate. Three or 
more are sometimes placed in this way, but two is a good rale : and if more are 
needed they can be brought in as required. The edges of the knives should be 
towards the plates. 

The napkin folded square, with a piece of bread an inch thick and three 
inches long, or a small cold bread-roll in the folds or on top of the napkin, is 
placed on each Dlate, or in place of the plate, as shown in our illustration. 

Instead of the individual salt cellars shown at each place in our illustra- 
tion, salt stands are often placed at each end of the table, together with the 
pepper stands. The different fancy spoons needed may be crossed by their 
side. 

At the right of each plate is arranged a goblet of water, and as many wine 
glasses as are needed. Our illustration shows two. More are often set. Total 
abstinence families of course do not use any. The water goblet is rilled just 
before the dinner is announced. Glasses of any kind are never placed upside 
down. In some families water is served from the sideboard, and in others a 
water carafe for everv two or three persons is placed on the table. At a party a 
small boquet would be at the place of each lady, and a button-hole boquet at 
that of each gentleman. 

The grapes, fruit, nuts, raisins, candies, bon-bons, fancy cakes, etc. 
(whatever is intended for the dessert) , are placed in two or four fancy dishes 
around the centerpiece— our illustration shows four. 

The butter may be made up in neat balls and placed, with sufficient 
individual butter plates to supply the company, near to the hostess, who will 
serve it. It is not passed until after the soup dishes are removed. Some 
families place the butter on the sideboard, and have it served by the servant. 
We have omitted it from the table in our illustration. Of course more or less 
latitude is left for individual preference in these matters. 

The first course will be oysters (when they are served), with which comes 
lemon or vinegar. Five for each plate are enough. If they are not served, the 
oyster-fork shown in our illustration will, of course, be omitted in setting the 
table. 

The next course will be soup, which is served by the hostess. It should 
only be moderately hot, and is brought on by the servant and placed in the 
manner shown at the right of our illustration, in form number two. 

The third course will be fish, which is served by the host. The servant 
brings it on and places it before him, as shown at the left of our illustration, in 
form number three. 

The other courses follow in their order, as we have folly explained 
elsewhere. 

We desire to say that the method of serving dinner outlined herein is 
followed daily by hundreds of our best bred people, and there is no good reason 
why it can not be followed by most families in respectable society, at least 
approximately. When once the habit is acquired, it is no more work to serve a 
dinner in good form than in a careless and slipshod manner ; and it will add 
wonderfully to its attractiveness. No great difference should be allowed 
between the forms observed every day and at dinner parties. The dinner need 
not be so elaborate, but the method of serving it can be much the same. An 
-ease of bearing comes from the habitual practice of the best social forms that 
<can be acquired in no other way, and which is of great value to any one. 



DINNER PARTIES. 165 

and mosses may be arranged, to add to the beauty and 
attractiveness of the table. In these days almost any 
known flower can be supplied at any season of the year, 
if the florist is only notified early enough that it will 
be wanted. Those of moderate means can produce most 
graceful ornaments with wild ferns, moss and bark, if 
only they have a little taste in arranging them. 

Flowers that are wilted can be restored to freshness 
by cutting their stems and inserting them in water that 
is very hot. Preserved in this way, they can sometimes 
be kept bright for a week, which is much better than 
throwing them away at the first symptoms of fading. 

At each lady's plate there may be a small bouquet, 
and at each gentleman's, two or three flowers for a but- 
ton-hole bouquet or boidonniere. 

Flowers are so often wilted by the heat and light 
that they should not be put on the table until immedi- 
ately before serving the dinner. 

For lighting the table, candles and lamps are now 
often used instead of gas, following an English fashion. 
Elegant branching chandelabra and beautiful lamps are 
used, but too much light on the table dazzles the guests, 
and it is better to have much of the light come from 
chandeliers and the sides of the room. The ventilation 
of the room should be carefully looked after, as the lights 
often over-heat it. A carpet should be on the floor to 
deaden the sound of feet. If one of the tissue paper 
shades, now so common, takes fire, it is so light that it 
will burn itself out without harm if left alone, but an 
attempt to blow it out may spread the flames to other 
shades. 

Carafes, or water bottles, are placed for every three 
or four persons, and a salt cellar for each one. The 
napkins are folded square, or else in a sort of triangle, 
and each one holds a small, thick piece of bread. This 



166 DINNEK PARTIES. 

bread should never be in slices, but always in thick 
short pieces, say an inch thick and three inches long. 
The napkins should never have anything to suggest the 
" hotel " in their appearance, and they should be large, 
fine and serviceable. They should on no account be stiff 
with starch, nor folded in any novel device whatever — 
that is "hotel style." 

At each plate there are usually placed two knives, 
three forks and a soup spoon, and a small knife and fork 
for fish, and a small "oyster-fork" for oysters. The 
knives and forks are never placed across the table, but 
the knives are at the right and the forks at the left of 
the plate, except the "oyster-fork," which is at the right. 
A goblet for water is placed at the right of each plate, 
and claret, wine, hock and champagne glasses, when 
wine is used. For sherry and Madeira, very thin glasses 
are now used, and as they are easily broken, they are 
not put on till dessert is served. At the sideboards there 
should be knives, forks, table and dessert spoons, sauce 
ladles, tumblers, wine glasses and the reserve dinner 
plates, the coffee cups and saucers, tea spoons and finger- 
bowls. 

The dinner is served from the side table, which may 
be in the hall or pantry, if the room is small. On enter- 
ing the room the guests see nothing on the table but a 
few wines, the bon-bons and fruit, the decorations and 
the " covers " — that is the place at table arranged for 
each person. 

ARRIVAL OF THE GUESTS. 

The guests should reach the house promptly on 
time. If too early they are in the way, and if too late 
they disarrange the whole plan of the dinner. Fifteen 
minutes is the limit of time allowed to wait for a tardy 
guest. At formal dinners, each gentleman finds a card 



DINNER PARTIES. 167 

in the hall giving his name and that of the lady he is to 
escort, and also, sometimes, a small boutonniere (button- 
hole bouquet), which he fastens on the lapel of his 
coat At small informal parties, the hostess may say to 
each gentleman, just before dinner is announced, "Mr. 
Blank will you take down Miss So-and-so?" 

In entering the drawing room upon their arrival, the 
rule is for the lady to precede her escort, not taking his 
arm. When a chaperon escorts a young lady, she takes 
the gentleman's place. In passing out of a room the 
same rule prevails. When two ladies enter or leave the 
room together, the eldest takes precedence. In France 
the rule is inflexible that the lady should be several 
steps in advance of the gentleman, and a violation of 
this rule by a lady of rank, on entering her drawing 
room, was resented by Madame McMahon, and led to a 
bitter quarrel. 

INTRODUCTIONS. 

A gentleman should ask the hostess to introduce him 
to the lady he is to escort to dinner, if they are unac- 
quainted, and before entering the dining room he should 
endeavor to establish easy relations with her. Guests 
should secure an introduction to the one in whose honor 
the dinner is given, and any members of the family with 
whom they are unacquainted. Strangers finding them- 
selves side by side at the table, may converse freely 
without an introduction, but no introduction should 
take place at the table. 

ANNOUNCING DINNER. 

To ring a bell to announce that dinner is ready is 
not good form. The butler should enter the drawing 
room and quietly say, "Dinner is served;" or, better 
still, catch the eye of the hostess and bow. The host 



168 DINNER PARTIES. 

and hostess should have used their utmost tact in trying 
to select an agreeable partner for each guest, and when 
dinner is announced the host offers his right arm to the 
lady he is to escort. This should be the one in whose 
honor the dinner is given, or the bride, if there is one 
present, or the oldest lady, or the one he wishes to 
especially honor. She is seated at his right at the 
table. The other guests follow in order, each gentle- 
man offering the right arm to his lady, and the younger 
falling back to allow the older to take precedence. 
The hostess comes last with the gentleman she wishes 
to place in the seat of honor, which is at her right. 
The next best seat is at her left, and the second best 
seat for a lady is at the left of the host. The host 
and hostess may sit opposite each other at either the 
ends or the middle of the table. Husbands do not 
escort their wives, nor brothers their sisters. In Eng- 
land, the guests enter the dining room in accordance 
with their rank, the highest going first, but that rule 
will not work in America. 

All remain standing until the hostess is seated, when 
they take the seats assigned them. This is usually in- 
dicated by a card (the guest-card) laid at each place, 
on which is the name of the guest for whom that seat 
is designed. Many fanciful designs are often prepared 
for these cards. They may be hand-painted, with fig- 
ures of flowers, landscapes or birds, or have beautiful 
etchings, or bronze and silver ferns, or have some design 
in consonance with the giving of the dinner. 

The menus (or bills of fare) are a trifle larger than 
the guest-card, and are often hand-painted also, and a 
tiny bouquet of one or two roses, or a rose and bud, 
may be laid on each menu, which is placed beside the 
guest card. At other times the menu is put in a pretty 
menu holder. It may be proper to add, that some peo- 



DINNEE PARTIES. 169 

pie do not consider a menu appropriate at a private 
house, but this question must be settled by the taste or 
preference of the hostess. The present style requires 
that the bouquets laid on the menus shall be small. 
Those written in English are much better than those in 
French, as all can understand them. 

SERVING THE DINNER. 

Raw oysters, with a piece of lemon in the center, and 
served on an oyster or majolica plate, are placed at each 
" cover " before the guests arrive, and the bread, folded 
in the napkin, is at the left. In England, raw oysters 
are not usually served at dinner, and in American cities, 
where* oysters are not readily obtained, they will, of 
course, be omitted, and the soup will be the first course. 
Clams are sometimes substituted for oysters. 

After the oysters are eaten, the plates are removed 
and soup is served. Half a ladleful is enough for each 
guest. At very elaborate dinners two soups are some- 
times served — white, and brown or clear. Pur&e is a 
thick soup, while a clear soup is consomme". 

After the soup comes fish. When this is eaten the 
plates are removed and hot plates should be ready, on 
which all the meats are served. The entrees (pro- 
nounced ong-trays — that is, " those dishes which are 
served in the first course after the fish") come next, 
and then the roast, followed by Roman punch (if it is 
served, as it is only appropriate for very elaborate din- 
ners), and this is succeeded by game and salad. The 
most substantial should come first, when more than one 
meat is served, the roast preceding the boiled. 

The salad is served in various ways ; sometimes with 
the game, at others with cheese, bread and butter, and 
at still others it is made a separate course by itself. 



t sa — m _^ _._ 



DINNER PARTIES. 171 

costly, each cup, saucer, plate, and the various other 
dishes, being a work of art. They are copied from the 
china made in the most famous factories abroad, and no 
two specimens are alike. Each course has dishes appro- 
priate in design and shape. Thus oysters may be served 
on Royal Worcester or Limoges china, in scallops, and 
pale cream color. Dishes decorated with aquatic plants 
in pale sea green, may be used for the fish course; the 
game dishes may have designs of birds in the borders ; 
dishes with a division for the plant and stalk may be 
used for asparagus, and so on, to the elegant little cups 
for the coffee. But the styles of dishes constantly vary 
from year to year, and the prevailing style can be easily 
learned at any time. 

Wines are appointed for each course, and are served 
by the butler. For the soup, sherry is the most appro- 
priate ; for the fish course, hock, sauterne and chablis 
are used; and with the roast comes claret and cham- 
pagne. Madeira and port come after the game, when 
they are used, and sherry, claret and Burgundy are 
offered with the dessert. Wines of superior quality are 
served after dessert. The sparkling wines, like cham- 
pagne and hock, are kept in ice pails, and opened as 
required, instead of being decanted. Two or three 
wines are quite enough for a small dinner, and there is 
no better selection than champagne or claret with the 
roast, and sherry with the soup. 

FAVORS AND BOUTONNIERES. 

The giving of favors and boutonni&res (pronounced 
boo-ton-ne-airs) has come to be quite an important 
feature of modern dinners, and much taste and ingenu- 
ity are expended in their selection. These luxuries add 
greatly to the elegance of the entertainment and there is 
almost no limit to the length to which the wealthy often 



172 DINNER PARTIES. 

go to secure attractive novelties. There is an almost 
endless variety of articles which are used for this pur- 
pose, and, while quite expensive favors are often given, 
people of moderate means can easily prepare pretty and 
appropriate little presents, which may be presented to 
guests, and which will add greatly to their pleasure and 
delight, for who does not enjoy looking over, at the end 
of the season, the pretty keepsakes which serve as 
pleasant reminders of the delightful occasions on which 
they were presented? Doylies worked with pretty fig- 
ures; silk handkerchiefs with borders; parasols of flow- 
ers, or palm-leaf fans painted by some member of the 
family; or cards ornamented thus with some pretty 
design; reticules of bright silk, and painted ribbons — 
these, and numberless other things, may be prepared 
without much cost by any one with taste, while those 
who do not need to consider the expense will find many 
novelties to excite the admiration and please the fancies 
of their guests. 

DUTIES OF THE SERVANTS. 

The butler is a very important personage on these 
occasions. He wears a full dress costume — dress coat, 
white tie, etc. The other servants wear livery. The 
butler makes the salad about half an hour beforehand 
and sees that the dinner is in readiness, and an- 
nounces it to the hostess at the proper time. One who is 
active and capable will dish out the soup, carve, and 
pour out the wine, but some ladies will not allow their 
butlers to do anything but pass the wine. 

The number of servants required depends on their 
ability and training. At a large dinner party one ser- 
vant to every three guests is the usual estimate, and 
sometimes there is one for every guest, but that is osten- 



174 DINNEE PABTIES. 

ing if he wishes it. An ice-bowl, containing broken 
ice, is often passed around before the champagne, and 
the guests help themselves. 

The butler should have some means of signaling to 
the kitchen when he wants anything, and of notifying the 
cook to serve another course when one is finished. The 
guests should not be disturbed by the clatter of dishes 
during the dinner, and the plates, etc., should therefore 
be washed at some distance from the dining room, and 
one or two servants should be in readiness to carry them 
away and return them. So much china is used that an 
abundance should be provided. 

A servant should never reach across a person seated 
at the table to remove or pass anything, but should 
always approach guests from the left, whatever the haste 
may be, except in passing wine, which goes to the right, 
as before explained. 

The custom of having the servants pass dishes to, and 
receive them from the guests, on little silver or brass 
trays or waiters, which is becoming the style at present, is 
certainly more elegant than the old method of passing 
dishes with their hands Servants are expected to be 
better trained and to wait on guests more constantly and 
quietly now than formerly. 

DUTIES OF THE HOST AND HOSTESS. 

The hostess must be calm and self-possessed always 
It is better not to try new dishes at a dinner party, nor 
to attempt one on such an unaccustomed scale as to be in 
constant fear that something will go wrong. All the 
guests should be greeted pleasantly, the late comers as 
cordially as the others, and they should be made to 
feel at ease at once. In case of any mishap, her equa- 
nimity must be undisturbed, and the servants must not 



DINNER PARTIES. 175 

be reproved in the presence of the guests. If by any 
oversight a servant inconveniences a guest, he should be 
spoken to with a qpiiet dignity, that will not attract the 
attention of the others. Nothing should be allowed 
to mar the pleasure of the occasion. 

The host must be ever on the alert to assist the 
hostess. He must watch the conversation, suggest new 
topics when it flags, direct it away from unpleasant 
topics, draw out the reticent and encourage the shy. 
The host must always aim to bring out others, while he 
should never shine supreme at his own table. He should 
possess a knowledge of the world that nothing can sur- 
prise, and a calmness and suavity that nothing can ruffle. 
As far as possible the wants of all should be anticipated, 
and " the host who has compelled a guest to ask him for 
anything he needs is almost a dishonored man," says 
one author. Neither host nor hostess should dress so 
elegantly as to eclipse their guests. 

The hostess should never allow her plate to be re- 
moved until all the guests have finished eating. 

Even formal dinners, with many courses, should not 
be prolonged unreasonably, and two hours is now the 
longest time allowed for them, an hour, or an hour and 
a half, being better. 

The hostess should not appear to pride herself on 
her table, and should never press her dishes on her 
guests. She should neither praise her viands nor apolo- 
gize for them. She offers the best she has, and allows 
her guests to judge of their quality for themselves. 

At the close of the meal, when the hostess sees that 
all have finished, she looks at the lady seated at the 
right of the host, and the guests rise. They retire to 
the drawing room in the order in which they are seated, 
without precedence. 

It is a growing custom to have music in the drawing 



Jf,.W,l,/ 



DINNER PARTIES. 177 

Total abstainers can, with perfect propriety, give a 
dinner without wines. Of course, this may cause sur- 
prise when people are invited who* are known to use 
them, but any guest is bound to respect the principles 
of his host. Without, in this place, entering into any 
discussion of the total abstinence question, our readers 
will often be faced with these problems, and so we give 
the rules of etiquette regulating them. 

DRESS. 

At all formal dinners the ladies wear elegant full 
dress costumes, with diamonds and jewelry. The dresses 
are now cut low — so low that much moralizing is in- 
dulged in by many modest conservatives. Very long 
gloves are now worn. 

The gentlemen wear the evening dress — low cut vests 
with immaculate shirt fronts, " claw-hammer " coats, 
and light colored gloves, which are not removed until 
they are seated at the table. 

LEAVE TAKING. 

On departing, guests may express the pleasure the 
occasion has afforded them, but further thanks are now 
considered old fashioned. 

RETURNING HOSPITALITIES, 

Those who accept hospitalities from others should 
avail themselves of the first opportunity to return them. 
Those who fail to do so will be judged quite harshly by 
society. While true hospitality is free and generous, 
and cannot and should not keep a strict debit and credit 
account, it is yet true that those who give entertainments 
should, after receiving an invitation, extend one in 



TABLE MANNERS. 




HEBE is hardly any better criterion of the 
social standing of ladies or gentlemen 
than to watch their manners at the table. 
We shall endeavor to give in this chapter 
those rules with which all should be 
familiar, and which all should observe, 
but when in doubt about any point, the 
best way is to notice the others, and " in 
Rome do as the Romans do." 
It seems quite surprising at times to notice how 
many people appear to be ignorant of the simplest 
matters in table manners. Well-dressed and apparently 
well-to-do people, will at times be guilty of the most 
revolting acts, which offend and even disgust their 
neighbors. The well-bred person regards not only his 
own comfort but he also considers the feelings of his 
neighbors, and is careful not to offend them when it is 
possible to avoid it. For this reason we commend the 
suggestions which follow to the consideration of our 
readers. 

Each gentleman pulls out his lady's chair and assists 
her to draw it to the table as she assumes her seat 
(unless there are servants in attendance to perform that 
duty), before he takes his own seat. 

The gloves should be removed as soon as seated, the 
roll taken from the napkin and laid at the left of the 
plate, and the napkin laid across the lap. Never tuck 
it under the chin, nor in the vest pockets. Lift one 

(179) 



LUNCHEONS, BREAKFASTS AND 
SIMPLE DINNERS. 




INNEE parties are usually such formal and 
ceremonious affairs, involving so much 
trouble and expense, that many people hesi- 
tate about giving them, or attempt them 
very rarely. Yarious less formal affairs are, 
therefore, quite popular, as they involve little 
care or expense, and yet enable people to 
manifest the spirit of hospitality, for it has 
been felt in all ages and among all nations, 
savage as well as civilized, that to entertain another was 
a peculiar evidence of good will, which would cement 
friendship and heal animosities. 

LUNCHEONS. 

Luncheon is a meal of comparatively recent date. 
It may be quite a formal affair — a dinner in all but the 
name ; or it may be a very informal and friendly gather- 
ing. Any meal taken between or after the regular meals 
is now called a luncheon. The invitations to a luncheon 
may be given verbally, or written, or, for very formal 
occasions, engraved. To a formal invitation a prompt 
answer should be sent, and if unable to attend after 
having accepted, the hostess should be promptly noti- 
fied. Many who dread the pomp and ceremony of a 
" dinner," take refuge in a luncheon, and entertain their 
friends in a sort of formal-informal way. A colored 
table cloth, which a strict and elegant taste would forbid 
for a dinner, may be allowed at a luncheon, but even 

(196) 



THE FAMILY TABLE. 




EBFECT ease at the table is only acquired 
by constant practice. The rules of etiquette 
should be strictly observed at home, and 
then there will be no fear of appearing awk- 
ward when in society. At meal times, all 
the members of the family should meet to- 
gether around a common table, and cheerful 
conversation should enliven the meal. Even 
in families of moderate circumstances, the 
table should be made as tasteful and attractive as possi- 
ble. A few flowers and spotless linen will be an excel- 
lent appetizer, and few families are too poor to afford 
these. Among the wealthy there has been a marked 
increase in the elegance of their table appointments in 
the last few years. To greet those in the room when 
you arrive with a " good morning," or " good evening," 
is a mark of politeness. 

To wear gloves at any meal, breakfast, luncheon, 
dinner or tea, is considered "bad form," and of course 
all understand that they are never worn at formal meals. 

BREAKFAST. 

At the breakfast table, a tinted table-cloth and nap- 
kins may be used. The breakfast napkins are not quite as 
large as those used at dinner. Fruit is regularly served 
at breakfast in some families, and there is an old adage 
that " fruit is gold in the morning, silver at noon, and 
lead at night." More freedom is allowed at breakfast 
than at any other meal. The morning paper, corres- 

(203) 



zr 



TABLE-CLOTHS AND NAPKINS. 




HE napery of a table is so important a 
matter, and does so much to make or mar 
a meal, that it may be well to devote a 
few words to the subject. The fashion of 
using napkins and table-cloths is very old 
and widely spread. The Japanese and 
Chinese magnates use elegantly embroid- 
ered and fringed silk napkins, which by 
some process unknown to us, they wash 
and restore to their original beauty. Elegant lace- 
worked napkins, which cannot be rivaled to-day, graced 
the tables of the early Italians, and Queen Elizabeth 
had beautiful napkins, made in Flanders, and edged 
with lace. Even the most sumptuous repast will be 
ruined by soiled and wrinkled linen, and the plainest 
and simplest meal will gain a certain attractiveness 
from a smooth and spotless table-cloth and napkins. 

The best of napery is the cheapest to buy, as it will 
outwear the cheaper grades. Irish linen, unadulterated 
with cotton, will last for years. Very handsome napkins 
are made at the South Kensington schools in England, 
and by the Decorative Art Society in New York ; and 
those with drawn thread and knotted fringe, made at 
Berlin, are very beautiful ; but, for refined elegance, no- 
napkins are superior to the plain, very thick, fine 
damask. 

For breakfast or tea, colored or tinted napkins may 
be used, and they may be smaller than those used for 
dinner. On formal occasions, at which guests are 

(207) 



ETIQUETTE OF BALLS, 




ALLS and dancing parties are now so popular 
that the etiquette of balls and the ball-room 
is quite an important item in the training of 
well-bred young people. It is no part of 
our purpose to discuss the ethics of dancing. 
It may be said, however, that the old puri- 
tanical prejudice against this form of amuse- 
ment is passing away, and in " society " that 
prejudice now finds little countenance. It 
brings young people together for innocent recreation, 
and they enjoy " the poetry of motion " and the brilliance 
and gayety of the occasion. The scruples of those who 
are conscientiously opposed to this form of amusement 
should be respected by all, however, and none but very 
ill-bred people will ridicule or sneer at them . In giving 
a ball the primary object of the hostess should be to 
provide a pleasant and delightful evening's entertain- 
ment for her guests. As one authority says, "The 
requisites for an agreeable ball are, a well-bred hostess, 
good ventilation, good music, a good supper, guests who 
know their duties, and not too large a number of them." 

THE INVITATIONS. 

The invitations should be sent out from ten days to 
three weeks in advance. In our chapter on " Invitations, 
Acceptances and Regrets,*' we gave the forms for invita- 
tions. Occasionally, when a young lady is introduced 

(211) 



PARTIES, RECEPTIONS AND 
OTHER GATHERINGS. 




YNICS may rail at the weaknesses and foi- 
bles of society, and proclaim that " vanity 
of vanities, all is vanity ! " but all society 
worthy of the name is at heart an exchange 
of civilities, and is designed to give pleas- 
ure and culture to those who participate in 
it. We see the first rude attempts at hos- 
pitality in the savage tribes, and at the 
very dawn of human history the duty of 
" entertaining strangers " was recognized 
and enjoined by the wise and good. The mere display 
of fashion and finery is a small part of the parties and 
balls, receptions, kettledrums, afternoon teas, lawn-ten- 
nis and garden parties, christenings, anniversaries and 
so on, which make up the great round of entertainments. 
Over and above all this, society brings together the wise 
and the ignorant, it draws out the silentand the shy, it 
arouses the dull mind and gives stimulus to the active 
intellect. It is both a moral and an intellectual force. 
By it prejudices are dispelled, arrogance is rebuked, and 
vulgar pretense is humbled. Its weaknesses are those 
of human nature, but it is a great school for developing 
and polishing its members. 

EVENING PARTIES. 

One writer has very cleverly defined the difference 
between the evening party and the ball by saying that 
at the party there may or may not be dancing, but at 
the ball there must be. 

(229) 



ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES. 




ELL-BEE D people never reserve their 
politeness for the drawing-room, or any 
special occasions. With all such, polite- 
ness is habitual and almost instinctive. 
It includes both equals and inferiors. 
In the daily intercourse with others, in 
the shops and offices, on the streets, in 
public conveyances and at places of 
amusement, everywhere and at all times, 
that deferential regard for the wishes and feelings, as 
well as the rights of others, which is the surest mark of 
the refinement of nature which constitutes the true 
gentleman or lady, adds wonderfully to the pleasure of 
life and makes the social machinery run smoothly and 
agreeably. While we cannot, of course, touch on all 
the little points which arise in the daily contact of 
individuals, we will endeavor to mention the more 
important of those well-established customs of good 
society which our readers should observe in public 
places. 

STREET ETIQUETTE. 

When a funeral procession is passing, do not attempt 
to cross the street between the carriages. To do so is 
disrespectful. 

When walking on the street keep to the right. A 
gentleman walking alone, however, should give prefer- 
ence, when it would be acceptable, to ladies, elderly 
gentlemen, or any one heavily burdened. 

(257) 







280 ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES. 

not stop in the aisle to converse with acquaintances and 
so obstruct the exit of others. 

Friends should exchange greetings in the vestibule. 
Loud or boisterous talk or laughter is always ill-bred in 
such a place. 

For several men, young or old, to gather in the 
vestibule or on the steps of a church and stare at or 
comment on the ladies who pass, is a practice that none 
but boors or buffoons will engage in. Don't do it. 

Those who visit a church merely to see it, should 
go when no services are being held. If, however, 
worshipers are present, engaged in their devotions (as 
often happens in Eoman Catholic churches), care should 
be taken not to disturb them. 

CONDUCT AT OPERAS, THEATRES AND PUBLIC HALLS. 

When a gentleman invites a lady to attend the 
theatre, opera or other public amusement with him, he 
should send her an invitation a day or two in advance. 
If but slightly acquainted with her the invitation may 
be formal, written in the third person, and sent by a 
messenger, or by mail. The following is the usual 
form : 

Mr. Horace Howard requests the honor {or 
pleasure) of Miss Mary Brown's company for the 
opera of " II Trovatore," on Thursday evening, 
October tenth, at the Columbia Theatre. 

The lady should answer the note immediately, and 
either accept or decline positively, so that the gentle- 
man can make his arrangements accordingly, and her 
answer should be worded after the form and in the 
spirit of the invitation. The following is the form : 



SCHOOL-ROOM ETIQUETTE. 




UEING childhood a large part of the time 
is spent in the school-room, under the 
influence of the teacher. The characters 
and habits of the children are forming at 
this period, and many of those in the public 
schools have very little instruction at home 
on the subject of politeness. Teachers, 
therefore, have it in their power to exercise 
a very powerful influence by taking pains 
to teach their pupils those common rules of etiquette 
which would often be a benefit in all after life. 

A teacher always gives " tone " to the school. The 
pupils must be treated politely if they are expected to 
be polite. Perfect order must be maintained ; and 
while the fewest possible rules are laid down, those 
which are made should be explained to the scholars, and 
they should be enforced. 

Pupils should be taught to be particular about their 
personal appearance. They should be required to have 
their faces and hands clean, their hair combed and their 
clothes as neat as possible. Habits thus formed may 
go with them as long as they live. The school-room 
should be kept as neat and attractive as possible, as 
that will make the children more anxious to appear 
well. Have a mat at the door, and require them to 
wipe their feet on entering the room ; and also teach 
them to open and shut the door without needless noise, 

(287) 



_ 



ETIQUETTE OF THE HOME. 




F ALL the civilizing influences at work in 
the world marriage is the most powerful 
and important. Take away the refining and 
elevating influences of the home, and men 
would soon relapse into barbarism ; and we 
are convinced that while good manners and 
politeness are demanded in society, they 
are equally .important in the home circle. 
Marriage should be a life-long companion- 
ship, based on mutual confidence and respect. Perfect 
fidelity to each other, and perfect frankness and truth, 
will strengthen the cords of love ; but any attempt at 
deception will surely weaken the ties of affection and sap 
the foundation of wedded happiness. 

Beware of confidantes, and let no one wring from 
you the secrets of your married life. Whoever speaks 
slightingly or disrespectfully of one's life mate should 
be set down as a dangerous enemy, and as such system- 
atically shunned. All have faults and eccentricities 
which their friends must wink at and overlook, but no 
well-bred man or woman will tell to others, outside the 
family, the foibles which should be covered with the 
mantle of love. To do so is very unwise, and betrays 
an indifference to the proprieties of life. 

Secure a home of your own at the earliest moment 
practicable. Any one familiar with boarding-house life 
will tremble for the happiness of a newly-married couple 
who begin their wedded life in such an atmosphere. 
Such houses are too often sepulchres of young married 

(290) 



THE MANNERS OF CHILDREN. 




ERY few people fully realize the importance 
to children of early home training. The 
character is then plastic and it is easily 



you give him the mastery of palaces anu lonu^© 
wherever he goes." 

Those children are very fortunate who in early life 
are trained by cultured parents, familiar with the usages 
of the best society; but those who are denied these 
advantages, and find themselves at maturity ignorant of 

(295) 



"Give a boy address and accomplishments and you give him the 
mastery of palaces and fortunes wherever he goes." — Emerson. 

To young people a book like this will be of very great value, 
for there is hardly any other one thing that will contribute more 
to their success in life than good manners. An eminent author 
has said that "there is no outward sign of courtesy that does 
not rest on a deep moral foundation." If this book could be 
placed in the hands of every young person in the country, and 
carefully studied, it would be an inestimable benefit to them. It 
would help to mold their characters and start them in the right 
direction. And not only that, but it will help to give them that 
"mastery of palaces and fortunes" which Ralph Waldo Emerson 
(as quoted above) refers to, and to which all young men should 
aspire. 

It is because a knowledge of etiquette is absolutely essential 
to success in life, and to those who would appear to the best 
advantage, that all young people especially should have and 
study this work. Every family should endeavor to keep pace 
with the progress of culture and refinement in these respects. 
There is no higher work than to try and shape aright the man- 
ners and morals of the coming generation. This book contains 
an immense amount of thoughtful, suggestive and sensible advice, 
and parents certainly cannot do a wiser act than to place it in 
the hands of their children. So place this book in the hands of 
all young people — it will be a great benefit to them. 
Manners— Face page 295. 



THE MANNERS OF CHILDREN. 




ERY few people fully realize the importance 
to children of early home training. The 
character is then plastic and it is easily 
moulded. Children, like the young of all 
animals, are imitative, and if they can only 
be started right in the journey of life they 
will be saved much trouble, mortification 
and suffering in later years. The wise men 
of the world have long seen this, and it has 
found expression in many proverbs and say- 
ings that we might quote if we had the space. " As the 
twig is bent the tree is inclined " is one that is so well 
known that it is almost trite. " Train up a child in the 
way he should go," says Solomon, " and when he is old 
he will not depart from it." Nor can this training ever 
begin too early. A clergyman was once asked by a 
mother when she should begin to educate her child. 
"How old is he?" asked the clergyman. " Three years," 
replied the mother. " Then you have already lost three 
years," was the answer. Southey says: "If easy and 
graceful manners are not acquired in early life, they 
will scarcely ever be possessed at all ; " and Ealph 
Waldo Emerson, seeing the importance of good manners, 
says: "Give a boy address and accomplishments and 
you give him the mastery of palaces and fortunes 
wherever he goes." 

Those children are very fortunate who in early life 
are trained by cultured parents, familiar with the usages 
of the best society; but those who are denied these 
advantages, and find themselves at maturity ignorant of 

(295) 



^ 



TREATMENT OF SERVANTS. 




HE servant girl question, in this country, 
is a problem, and confessedly one of the 
most difficult, intricate and perplexing pre- 
sented in modern life. The housekeeper 
who has a faithful and competent girl has 
a treasure indeed. The girls who would 
make the best servants — the bright, intelli- 
gent American girls — will not accept such 
positions, pref ering to work in stores, offices 
and factories, on almost starvation wages often, to earning 
an honorable living as domestics in cultivated families. 
It is not our purpose here to discuss the causes which 
operate to produce this state of things, but only to offer 
such suggestions on the treatment of servants as would 
properly come within the province of a book on 
etiquette. 

Much misunderstanding and trouble can often be 
saved by having a distinct understanding with a servant 
at the time she is engaged, about what her duties and 
privileges are to be. Many a poor discouraged house- 
keeper, after a set-to with an ignorant or insolent servant, 
has been brought to the point where she could almost 
say with the little fretful girl, that " the world is hollow, 
my new doll is stuffed with bran, and I don't want to 
live any longer ! " And yet the servants are not always 
wholly to blame. An insolent and overbearing mistress 
will have trouble where a polite and considerate woman 
will get along harmoniously. If women could learn 
that servants are human, that they are made of flesh 

(303) 



BUSINESS ETIQUETTE. 




E LIVE in a business age. The thoughts 
of men are more occupied with trade than 
ever before. Young men look forward to a 
life of business and aspire to success. Of 
course many qualities of mind and charac • 
ter are essential to those who win in the 
race, but politeness is by no means one of 
the least important. The leading business 
men, as well as the lawyers, doctors and 
other professional men, owe their success, in part, at 
least, to their manners. So well known is this that it is 
often said that if you want to be politely treated in 
business you should go to the head of the firm; if you 
want to be snubbed, go to his clerk. It is the lackey, not 
the lord, who is rude, the world over. 

Form the habit at the start of treating all, whether rich 
or poor, men or women, with uniform politeness and 
courtesy. The polite merchant draws the best trade, 
and keeps it Learn also to be cheerful and to keep 
your temper at all times, as there is great power in it- 
He who commands his temper commands the situation 
nearly always. Never allow yourself to say mean and 
bitter things. You will regret it afterwards and they 
leave wounds that rankle often for years. 

Let your business integrity be above suspicion, and 
make your word as good as your bond. Meet all bills and 
drafts promptly. If utterly unable to do so, explain the 
reason to your creditor frankly, and state when you can 

(307) 



^ 



ETIQUETTE OF PRESENTS AND 
BORROWING. 




RESENTS should be given as an evidence of 
affection or esteem, and without any thought 
of receiving others in return. Emerson says : 
"Our tokens of love are for the most part 
barbarous, cold and lifeless, because they 
do not represent our life. The only gift is 
a portion of thyself. Therefore let the 
farmer give his corn; the miner his gem; 
the sailor coral or shells; the painter his 
picture and the poet his poem." Some trifling present 
thus given is much better than a costly gift. Except in 
the case of a parent to a child, or of some near relation- 
ship, a costly present should rarely be made, as its 
propriety would be questionable. When a present is 
made ostentatiously with a hope of getting something in 
return, or of gaining some advantage, it partakes of the 
nature of bribery. People of true refinement do not 
make gifts which are not prompted by kindly feeling. 

A note should be sent, or a verbal expression of 
thanks should be given, at once on receipt of a present. 
That should always be devoted to the purpose for which 
it was given, and no other. If it is an ornament for the 
center-table, place it there. If it is an article of dress 
or jewelry, wear it in the presence of the giver on the 
first opportunity. If it is a book, read it as soon as pos- 
sible, and allude to the pleasure it gave you on meeting 
the donor. If it is fruit or flowers, refer to them the 

(3C9) ..... _ 



GOOD AND BAD SOCIETY. 




HAT constitutes good society, and what is 
bad society? are questions that are often 
asked, and still oftener thought. How 
can one distinguish between the two? 
Young people, or those who have had 
little experience of the world, will often 
come in contact with persons surrounded 
with every appearance of wealth and 
luxury; they may give fine suppers and 
entertain in almost princely style, and yet they will 
manifest the most insolent pretense, superciliousness or 
unkindness to others; or the young men of the "set" 
may go to one of their suppers and get " beastly drunk," 
or at other times commit flagrant violations of the moral 
law; and the young women may dress flashily, spice 
their talk with slang, and allow the men to take coarse 
familiarities with them, and the inexperienced observer 
will ask, " Is that good society ? " To all such queries we 
unhesitatingly say, — No, it is not. Whatever their 
wealth and worldly position, such people are ill-bred, and 
a collection of such people does not constitute good 
society. When people of good character, education and 
breeding meet together for mutual entertainment, on a 
footing of equality, they constitute good society. Noth- 
ing else does. It is only the counterfeit aristocracy, 
the parvenus, who violate the laws of both propriety 
and morals. " Call no society good," says one authority, 
"until you have sounded its morals as well as its man- 
ners." Thackeray maintains that any society, claiming 

(315) 



9 



CONCERNING CHAPERONS. 




HEEE is a growing tendency in the higher 
circles of American society to introduce the 
European system of chaperonage. This 
tendency has been manifest for several 
years, and it has many earnest advocates. 
It is maintained that the freedom of inter- 
course which was permitted between the 
young people when the towns were small 
and every one knew every one else, where 
the children were neighbors and played together, and 
attended the same public schools and grew up sur- 
rounded by the same influences, is not suitable in 
large cities, where the young ladies go into society 
and come into contact with men of whom their parents 
know little or nothing. It is claimed that " society " 
is too often frequented by foreign titled rakes, and native 
rou&s, who regard the innocent and inexperienced girls 
to whom they are introduced as their legitimate prey. 
To save these innocent and attractive young creatures 
from the dangers in their path, it is proposed to intro- 
duce the French system of chaperonage. It is further 
maintained that foreigners coming to this country 
criticise and entirely misunderstand our freedom of 
manners. Knowing that no young lady with any claims 
to respectability would ever be allowed, in their own 
countries, to act with such freedom from restraint, they 
judge us by their standard and put their own construc- 
tion on the matter — and that is the construction most 
unfavorable to the young ladies. 



WASHINGTON ETIQUETTE. 




OCIAL life in Washington is peculiar, and 
differs from that of other cities. It takes 
its tone from official life. From the days of 
Washington to General Jackson's adminis- 
tration strict rules of etiquette were observed, 
but Jackson broke down the old barriers 
and inaugurated a series of popular recep- 
tions, to which all were admitted, and such 
-*i rudeness was allowed as few gentlemen would 
tolerate in their own homes. Since then much confusion 
has existed, and a fixed social code has been sadly 
needed. 

THE PEESIDENT. 

Owing to his official position the President is entitled 
to precedence whenever and wherever he appears. He 
is under no obligation to return the calls he receives. 
To make his acquaintance no special formalities are 
necessary. When he receives, which is often in the 
morning, the visitor is shown to the room occupied by 
the President's secretaries. He then presents his card 
and waits his turn to be admitted. Those who have 
business are of course given precedence over those who 
call merely out of curiosity. On being admitted to the 
President's room such a visitor pays his respects, and 
at once makes room for others. Those going merely 
out of curiosity will do well to get some official to intro- 
duce them when possible. In conversation the President 
may be addressed either as "Mr. President," or "Your 
Excellency." 



COUNTRY MANNERS AND 
HOSPITALITY. 




ADAPT one's manners to whatever cir- 
cumstances one may be in, and to appear 
perfectly at home and self-possessed, and 
place those with whom one comes in con- 
tact at their ease, is the perfection of good 
manners. As we have elsewhere stated, 
to attempt amid the simple surroundings 
of a country home to ape the grand style 
of the palace, is absurd. Shakespeare's 
Shepherd says : " Those that are good manners at the 
court are as ridiculous in the country as the behavior 
of the country is most mockable at court." When a 
country farmer "hitches up his team" and takes his 
wife over to spend the afternoon and "visit" some 
friend four or five miles away, any approach to, or 
imitation of, the formalities of a city " call " would be 
so manifestly out of place as to hardly need mention. It 
is the same in other respects. Manners are the out- 
growth of the needs of society, and are to be studied 
and observed as such. 

When a friend from the city is entertained in the 
country as a guest, no effort need be made to provide 
the same luxuries and comforts that he is surrounded 
with at home. We are all so constituted that we like 
a change at times, and it is a great relief to occasionally 
get away from the artificalities of city life and get a 
breath of God's pure air, and see the green fields, and 
the " mild-eyed" cattle leisurely chewing their cuds. 

(330) 



ETIQUETTE OF CONVERSATION, 




O OTHEE accomplishment is so highly 
prized in modern society as that of con- 
versation. The accomplished musician, or 
artist, or writer, will not be sought after 
and welcomed in all circles like the ready 
and intelligent talker. Talking is the one 
universal accomplishment which all must 
practice ; and those who excel reap the 
reward of honor and esteem from others, 
and the pleasure they themselves derive from the exer- 
cise of their talent. Social contact is one of the greatest 
mental stimulants, and under its influence bright minds 
grow brighter and dull minds are quickened and aroused. 
Contact with others frees the mind from prejudice, sug- 
gests new ideas, and gives one breadth and tolerance. 
Bright ideas spring up spontaneously and unexpectedly, 
and flashes of wit often surprise the talkers themselves. 
There is hardly any one thing which contributes more 
to enjoyment and success in life than the ability to 
converse well. To amuse, instruct and entertain those 
with whom we are thrown in contact is indeed an 
accomplishment which is worth trying to acquire. 
Many men and women owe almost all their success in 
life to their ability to converse well, for it is not solid 
knowledge alone which wins in the world — the ready 
and adroit way of stating things, and the social qualities, 
are also important factors. We will endeavor to call 
attention to some of the faults and errors to be avoided, 
and also to give a few hints on the cultivation of the art 
of conversation. 

(339) 



^ 



340 ETIQUETTE OF CONVERSATION. 
PERSONAL APPEARANCE 

Half the charm of conversation is in the appearance 
and manner. Uncombed hair, unclean linen, neglected 
teeth, or any lack of neatness will excite disgust and 
detract from the effect of what is said. Carelessness in 
these things indicates an indifference to the good 
opinion of those with whom one is talking, and a want 
of refinement of feeling. Anything flashy or ostenta- 
tious in the dress also indicates a certain vulgarity in 
the wearer, which will create an unfavorable impression. 
A brilliant person may succeed in society in spite of 
some such obstacles, but they are still obstacles to 
be overcome. 

VOICE AND MANNER. 

It was an axiom with the old Greeks that a loud or 
harsh voice indicated low breeding. Any one who will 
listen to the conversation of a company of low and vulgar 
people will be impressed by their loud unpleasant voices, 
while, on the other hand, in cultivated society the soft, 
sweet voices are noticeable. A pleasant voice will at 
once prepossess a hearer in favor of a speaker. Study, 
therefore, to modulate and control your voice, for it is 
almost indispensable in agreeable social intercourse. 

Beware of tricks and mannerisms in conversation. 
They will at once impress strangers, and even close 
friends are greatly annoyed by them. A perfectly simple 
and easy manner and use of language is the highest 
art, and the most agreeable to others. 

THE SUBJECTS OF CONVERSATION. 

A fund of information, or knowledge, is essential to 
a good talker. This knowledge may be either general 
or special. By special knowledge we mean that pos- 



UNSETTLED POINTS OF 
ETIQUETTE. 




KNOWLEDGE of etiquette has been 
defined as a knowledge of the rules of 
society at its best. But society developes 
its own laws as they are needed ; and as con- 



and often occupying different sianu-poiuib, iiuvy sumx?- 
times vary on a few minor questions. Uniformity is 
very desirable, as it prevents confusion and saves people 
from making mistakes which would lead others to 
ascribe ignorance and lack of breeding where there was 
only a difference of local custom. For this reason it 
may be well to mention a few of these unsettled points 
to our readers. 

THE RIGHT OR LEFT ARM. 

Mrs. Dahlgreen, in her admirable little work " Eti- 
quette of Social Life in Washington," says: "Dinner 
announced, the host offers his left arm to the lady," etc , 

f359) 



"This is the age of social reform." — Emily Shirreff. 

We have here something new — a chapter on "Unsettled 
Points of Etiquette," giving a discussion of the subjects on which 
some uncertainty exists in good society. This is a novel and 
excellent feature of this work. 

Another new feature is that great attention is given to 
explaining the origin of the various social forms. Nothing will 
give abetter understanding of a custom than a knowledge of its 
origin and development. It will often shed a flood of light on 
it. The new features like this (and there are many such) add 
greatly to the value and usefulness of the work, and help to make 
it much the best thing of the kind ever published. 
Manners— Face page 359. 



UNSETTLED POINTS OF 
ETIQUETTE. 




KNOWLEDGE of etiquette has been 
denned as a knowledge of the rules of 
society at its best. But society developes 
its own laws as they are needed; and as con- 
ditions change social observances change 
also, and so we often find minor points of 
etiquette on which there is some difference 
of opinion and of observance even in the 
best circles of society. We have not in this 
country any courts to settle mooted points and set the 
fashion for all classes of society; but there never was a 
time when the great mass of the people were so fully 
alive to the importance of good manners, or so anxious 
to learn what the best social usages are. Writers on 
etiquette attempt to record and explain to their readers 
the customs of society; but, moving in different circles, 
and often occupying different stand-points, they some- 
times vary on a few minor questions. Uniformity is 
very desirable, as it prevents confusion and saves people 
from making mistakes which would lead others to 
ascribe ignorance and lack of breeding where there was 
only a difference of local custom. For this reason it 
may be well to mention a few of these unsettled points 
to our readers. 

THE RIGHT OR LEFT ARM. 

Mrs. Dahlgreen, in her admirable little work " Eti- 
quette of Social Life in Washington," says: "Dinner 
announced, the host offers his left arm to the lady," etc , 

f359) 



^ 



360 UNSETTLED POINTS OF ETIQUETTE. 

while Mrs. H. O. Ward, in her work entitled " Sensible 
Etiquette of the Best Society," says: " Then the dinner 
is announced, and the host offers his right arm to the 
lady who is to be escorted by him." Now here is a 
direct conflict of opinion, one authority saying the left 
arm should be offered, and the other the right. Which 
is right? The weight of authority is at present in favor 
of the right arm. The old rule used to be that gentle- 
men offered ladies the left arm on the street and in the 
house. The custom can be traced back to the time 
when men passed to the left, both on foot and on horse- 
back; and placing the lady on the left arm shielded her, 
and left his right arm free to grasp the sword, which 
was often needed in those days for self -protection. 
Now, however, men no longer wear swords to protect 
themselves from insult, and they always turn to the 
right in passing others. By placing the lady on the 
right arm she is saved from being jostled by those they 
meet, and it also leaves her right hand free to manage 
her train, which is often a matter of some importance. 
In some countries people ' still pass to the left, and still 
offer the left arm, but the prevailing rule in America at 
present is to offer the right arm to ladies. The advan- 
tage is obvious when the reason is understood. 

GIVING LADIES THE " INSIDE" OR "WALL." 

The old rule, still laid down in some books of 
etiquette, that ladies should be given the "inside" or 
"wall" when walking with a gentleman on the street, 
originated when there were no sidewalks and it was 
necessary to give the lady the wall to shield her from 
passing carriages and animals. It is sometimes said, 
also, that giving the lady the left arm will in many 
cases give her the wall, and that is advanced as one 



PART II 



A Manual of Instruction in Writing Social and Business 
Letters and Notes of all kinds: giving full Directions 
for the use of Capitals and Punctuation Marks; 
explaining the Correct Forms for addressing 
all People with Titles, Native or Foreign; 
and giving Numerous Examples and 
Suggestions on the Composi- 
tion of Letters, etc., etc. 



"To write is to speak beyond hearing, and none stand by to explain/' 

— Tupper. 

This article on letters and notes occupies over sixty pages 
of our work, and is a remarkably complete and useful treatise, 
It contains a great deal of new matter, and an immense amount 
of practical information on these subjects. As a guide to young 
people, or as a work of reference for older ones, no better manual 
can be found. It covers the whole subject of the writing oi 
letters and notes of all kinds. 
Manners— Face Letters and Notes. 



PART II 



LETTERS AND NOTES 



A Manual of Instruction in Writing Social and Business 
Letters and Notes of all kinds: giving full Directions 
for the use of Capitals and Punctuation Marks; 
explaining the Correct Forms for addressing 
all People with Titles, Native or Foreign; 
and giving Numerous Examples and 
Suggestions on the Composi- 
tion of Letters, etc., etc. 



^ 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 




T THE present day letter writing is almost 
universal. There are very few people who 
do not at some time write letters of business 
or friendship, and it certainly is a matter of 
no small consequence that they should know 
how to write them correctly. A clearly- 
expressed, well written letter will produce a 
favorable, while an illegible and ungram- 
matical epistle cannot fail to produce an 
unfavorable, impression. The days of long and gossipy 
letters have gone by. The lengthy and stately letters so 
common in our grandni other's days are rarely seen now. 
Our letters are more frequent and shorter. They are 
also more correct, and inaccuracies, if less common, are 
more noticed and criticised. It is often said that ladies 
excel as letter writers, and it is undoubtedly true that, 
for ease and facility of expression, and in social and 
friendly correspondence, they far surpass the sterner 
sex; and yet, few letters are free from mistakes in form 
or matter. There is certainly no good reason why so 
much time should be devoted to cultivating the various 
accomplishments which fit one for social life — such as 
music and dancing — and the art of correspondence 
should be neglected. Letters often reveal character 
more perfectly than conversation, as the writer is off 
guard and gives expression to the real feelings. What- 
ever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well, and this 
is emphatically true of letter writing; for, while spoken 
words may be ephemeral and soon forgotten, the written 

(377) 



384 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 



French phrase. 


Abbreviation. 


Meaning. 


Ripondez sHl vous plait. 


R. S. V. P. 


Eeply if you please. 


Pour prendre conge. 


P. 


P. 


C. 


To take leave. 


Pour dire adieu. 


P. 


D. 


A. 


To say farewell. 


En ville. 


E. 


V. 




In the town or city. 


Costume de rigueur. 








Costumes to be full dress. 


FUe champ&tre. 








A country (or rural) enter- 
tainment. 


Soiree dansante. 








A dancing party. 


Bal masque". 








A masquerade ball. 


Soir&e musicale. 








A musical entertainment. 



POSTSCRIPTS AND UNDERSCORING. 

So much ridicule has been lavished on the female 
custom of always adding a postscript that it is hardly 
necessary to allude to it here. Postscripts, however, are 
in bad taste and should never be used when they can be 
avoided-as they nearly always can. Neither should words 
be underscored. Disraeli eaid that underscoring was the 
refuge of the " feebly forcible," and it is certainly in 
bad taste to continually underscore words; and yet it is 
a very frequent custom among a certain class of writers. 
While it might be too much to say that it should never 
be practiced, it is entirely safe to say that it should be 
resorted to very rarely, and the lavish use of under- 
scoring is in execrable taste. 

CROSSING THE WRITING. 



Another bad habit which is quite too common is that 
of turning a sheet half around and writing a second 
time across the page — making a kind of checker-board 
letter of it. This is always in bad form and should 
never be done. 



9 



380 LETTEKS AND NOTES- 



THE USE OF SEALING WAX AND WAFEBS. 

Sealing-wax is again coming into favor, altho?.igh its 
use had almost died out. Many fastidious people 
prefer to use wax, but it is much better to use the regular 
gummed envelope than to make a great slovenly seal on 
an envelope. Every young lady should learn how to 
seal a letter neatly. A good impression may be 
obtained by covering the face of the seal with linseed 
oil, dusting it with rouge, and then pressing it firmly 
and rapidly on the soft wax. Either red or black wax 
is proper, but wafers should never be used — they are 
not in good form. 

THE INK. 

Clear black ink should always be used. The fancy 
colored inks, which were in vogue a few years ago, and 
which are now sometimes seen, are not considered 
elegant. No other color is so appropriate as black for 
all correspondence. 

FOLDING THE LETTER. 

A letter or note should always be folded carefully 
and put into the envelope correctly, that is, in such a 
way that it will not be necessary to turn the letter over 
to read it when it is taken out. The envelope should 
be directed neatly, legibly and in the proper form. Be 
careful always to have the address full and plain. The 
postage stamp should be put on straight and in the 
proper place, that is on the upper right-hand corner- 
It looks very slovenly and careless to see a stamp put 
on to an envelope in an unusual place, or in a crooked 
and irregular way. Little things like these always 
attract attention, and create an unfavorable impression. 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 391 

We have not in the English language any designa- 
tion for an unmarried lady similar to the French 
Mademoiselle. It would be a great convenience if we 
had. 

We give a few examples of the usual forms of intro- 
ductions to letters. A good form for a business letter 
would be as follows: 

Messrs. Jones, Warwick & Co., 

Philadelphia, Pa. 
Gentlemen : 

Your telegram of the 10th inst., etc. 

Or, where the full address is given, three lines would 
be occupied, as follows: 

Mr. John Rogers, 

19 Temple Place, 

Cincinnati, Ohio. 
Dear Sir: 

I beg to acknowledge the receipt, etc, 

A letter to a married lady would begin thus: 
Mrs. A. G. Hooker, 

Boston, Mass. 
Dear Madam . 

We send you to-day, etc. 

In social correspondence the full address of the 
party written to is not given, and the introduction 
would be as follows: 

My dear Daughter, — 

I have just returned from, etc. 

Or a lady might address a gentleman thus: 
Dear Mr. Jones, — 

I saw Mrs. Williams this morning, etc. 



396 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

or, "I beg you, Madam, to receive the assurance of 
my respectful attachment;" or, "With feelings of the 
deepest sympathy, I remain," etc.; or, "Permit me to 
assure you of my tenderest friendship." The forms are 
numerous, but the idea is to close with some appropriate 
expression of sympathy, attachment or respect. 

ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE OPENING AND CLOSING 
OE LETTERS. 

A little observation will soon familiarize any one 
with the well-recognized forms of correspondence, but 
for the benefit of such of our readers as may be still in 
doubt, we will give a few forms, showing the date, intro- 
duction and conclusion combined, and showing, also, 
what we mean by having the conclusion correspond with 
the introduction: 

A business letter would take the following form: 

Allegan, Mich. Oct. 6, 1888. 
Mr. John R. Briggs, 

475 Blanchard Ave., 

Philadelphia, Pa. 
Dear Sir: 

******* 
Yours respectfully, 

J. M. Locke. 

A lady would be addressed as follows: 

Freemont, O., Nov. 15, 1888. 
Mrs. Mary Boss, 

Ottumwa, Iowa. 
Dear Madam: 



Very respectfully, 

Henry B. Weeks. 



LETTEKS AND NOTES. 399 

highest respect, your obedient, humble servant." The 
tact of the writer must at times dictate the amount of 
formality required, but it is best to err on the safe side 
and not seem lacking in respect — certainly not when 
addressing strangers or those occupying positions of 
honor. 

HINTS ON PUNCTUATION. 

The punctuation of the introduction and close of a 
letter should be as follows : The invariable rule is, that 
a period should follow all abbreviations, such as "Rev.," 
"Hon.," "Geo.," "Pa.," "Vt.," and so on. A period 
otherwise terminates a sentence, while a comma merely 
indicates a slight pause. In the heading of a letter, 
therefore, a comma follows the name of the town, the 
street, the state and the day of the month, while a 
period follows the year, as that closes the sentence. 
Thus, a letter giving the full address would be punctuated 
as follows: "278 Madison St., Rockford, 111., Dec. 20, 
1888." As "St." and "111." are both abbreviations, a 
period, of course, follows them; for, as we before stated, 
a period always follows an abbreviation, and as a slight 
pause follows each one, a comma should be used also. 
If, however, the "Street" was written in full, nothing 
but a comma would be used. It would then be written: 
" 276 Madison Street, Rockford, 111.," using a comma 
only, after the word "Street." So, also, the "111." is 
followed by both a period and comma; but if there was 
no abbreviation, a comma only would be required, as, 
for instance, in the following date: "Toledo, Ohio, 
Jane 20, 1888." Here " Ohio," being no abbreviation, 
needs no period following it; again, after the "June," 
no punctuation is required; while "Dec," being an 
abbreviation, requires a period. The day of the month 
maybe given in figures alone, or the suffixes "th," "st," 



m 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 403 

The Apostrophe (').— This indicates the possessive case, and is used to 
indicate the omission of letters in contracted words, as, for example, (1st) 
Don't, o'er, I've, can't, etc.; and (2d) George's hat, Brown's stove. To avoid the 
unpleasant hissing sound when the possessor's name ends in s, the s after the 
apostrophe is not given. Thus it would be Mr. Higgins' hat, and not Mr. 
Higgins's hat. 

The Hyphen (-) .—The principal use of the hyphen is to unite compound 
words or phrases, such as twenty-four, that always-to-be-remembered night, etc., 
and in separating the syllables of words at the ends of lines. 

Quotation Marks (" ").— These are placed at the beginning and end of 
words or sentences quoted from others. Slang words and those of doubtful 
propriety, and words used in a peculiar way, are also placed in quotation marks. 
The use of quotation marks to make certain words or phrases prominent is in 
bad taste, like the frequent underscoring resorted to by certain crude writers. 
When a quotation occurs within another, a single quotation markjonly is used, 
and a third quotation within the second is distinguished by double marks. 
When several paragraphs are quoted, marks are used at the beginning of each 
paragraph, but only at the close of the last one. 

The Parenthesis ( ) .—This is mainly used to enclose subordinate words or 
phrases used in sentences, but which might be omitted without losing the sense 
of the text. Another use of the parenthesis is to enclose a quotation mark or 
exclamation point inserted in a sentence, as explained about those points. 

Brackets [ ] . —The use of brackets is now rare. A remark or explanation 
made within a quotation, but not belonging to it, should be in brackets . Ex- 
ample. — " After much hesitation [why hesitate ?] she declined." 

HINTS ON THE USE OF CAPITALS. 

The free use of capital letters on a printed page gives it a sort of spotted 
appearance when held a short distance from the eye, and the tendency of the 
present day is to avoid their excessive use. On the written page their presence 
is not so observable, but the best taste even here would probably incline the 
same way . In a few instances, the use of capitals is demanded by all authorities. 
These are as follows: (I) The word beginning a sentence. (2) The names of 
persons and places. (3) The pronoun " I," and the exclamation " O." (4) The 
name of the Deity, as "God," "Lord," etc. (5) The first word in a line of 
poetry. 

On other points, much diversity of opinion and practice prevails. In 
quotations the rule is to begin them with a capital if a whole sentence or more 
is quoted, or if it is the title of a book, lecture, etc. Words and phrases not 
beginning a sentence are not capitalized when quoted. The first word of a 
question is often capitalized, when occurring in the middle of a sentence, as, 
for example: "And still we ask, Has it any value? " This use of the capital is 
condemned by some. It is one of the varying customs. Again, the capitaliza- 
tion of words formed from proper nouns, such as "china," "japan," etc., 
depends some on their use; thus, to speak of Japan wares (meaning articles 
brought from Japan) would require a capital, but japanned hardware (meaning 
iron with a peculiar black coating or finish) would not be capitalized. We 
might extend these illustrations indefinitely, but tastes vary so much that 
almost any uniform, deliberately-followed rule is allowed in these minor points. 



408 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

In large cities where letters are delivered by carriers 
a letter mailed to another resident of the same city- 
would be addressed thus: 











-&/ti'WiA-. 


C^w. 


^ptzJAte 


$&&, 






/// 


\£te4^i&'Zi 





The following forms will illustrate addresses with 
honorary titles. The president would be addressed as 
follows : 



jssfc 


g* 


ce&ew.c-M, 






< &><&&wt^,. 






SZ 


C^'led^t/e^i/ tff /fce 


\c/<?if/fetz -&€tz./ed-, 








(/W^W^, 










'0,<$. 



p^^a 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 411 

Or, "Addressed," "Present," or " Favor of Mr. H. 
Jones," have been used instead of the "Kindness of 
Mr. O. A. Post," but all these forms are going out of 
favor at present with many of the most polished writers, 
and nothing is put on the envelope except the address. 

On business letters the card of the writer is printed 
on the upper left-hand corner, and then if the letter fails 
to reach its destination it is returned to the sender. A 
letter without the" return in ten days " clause is sent to 
the dead-letter office if it is miscarried in any way. In 
social letters, however, the "return if not called for" 
card is not placed on the envelope. 

The superscription or address on letters to titled 
individuals is quite an important item in letter writing, 
and we explain the matter at length in the section 
following : 

ADDRESSING PEOPLE WITH TITLES. 

The correct use of titles in letter writing is a matter 
of some importance, and ignorance of the correct forms 
will often be quite embarrassing. An incorrect use of 
titles will create a very unfavorable impression on the 
recepient of a letter or note. In America we have no 
hereditary titles, or titles of nobility, but those in use 
may be classified under three heads, as Social, Scholastic 
and Official. 

The Social Titles in common use are, for ladies, 
Mrs. (from Mistress); Madam (from the French 
Madame, meaning my dame); Miss (contracted from 
Mistress); and for men, Mr. (for Mister, contracted 
from the Latin Magister); Esq. (an abbreviation of the 
English Esquire); Sir (derived from the Latin Senior, 
an elder, or elderly person); Gentlemen (derived from 
the Latin gentilis, a gens, or clan ) ; and Master, applied 



teness of this a 






To illustrate the completeness of this article notice the 
explicit directions which are given for addressing people with 
titles. This is the most complete list ever published, and is only 
a fair sample of the way ail the other matters are treated. Not 
one in a thousand could tell the correct way to address these 
different persons without such a guide as this to refer to. The 
book is full of valuable and useful information like this, and no 
home should be without it. 
Manners— Face page 411. 




9 



LETTEBS AND NOTES. 411 

Or, "Addressed," "Present," or " Favor of Mr. H. 
Jones," have been used instead of the " Kindness of 
Mr. O. A. Post," but all these forms are going out of 
favor at present with many of the most polished writers, 
and nothing is put on the envelope except the address. 

On business letters the card of the writer is printed 
on the upper left-hand corner, and then if the letter fails 
to reach its destination it is returned to the sender. A 
letter without the " return in ten days " clause is sent to 
the dead-letter office if it is miscarried in any way. In 
social letters, however, the "return if not called for" 
card is not placed on the envelope. 

The superscription or address on letters to titled 
individuals is quite an important item in letter writing, 
and we explain the matter at length in the section 
following : 

ADDEESSING PEOPLE WITH TITLES. 

The correct use of titles in letter writing is a matter 
of some importance, and ignorance of the correct forms 
will often be quite embarrassing. An incorrect use of 
titles will create a very unfavorable impression on the 
recepient of a letter or note. In America we have no 
hereditary titles, or titles of nobility, but those in use 



412 LETTEKS AND NOTES. 

usually as a title of respect to boys, although it origin- 
ally meant one of eminent rank —a chief. Mr. is 
applied indiscriminately to all men, but Esq. was orig- 
inally confined to official or prominent persons, although 
it is now used quite generally in America without 
discrimination as to rank or importance. 

The Scholastic Titles are those acquired in the prac- 
tice of some learned profession, like that of M. D. 
applied to a medical practitioner, or those conferred by 
some institution of learning, as, for example, that of 
Doctor of Laws (LL. D.). 

The Official Titles are those belonging, by virtue of 
their office, to those in the service of the United States, 
or of the several States, in the civil, military or naval 
departments, such as Governors, Generals, etc. 

When writing informal letters to distinguished per- 
sons the form must be regulated by the intimacy of the 
parties. Friendly letters might begin " Dear Senator," 
or "My dear General," or "Dear Judge So-and-so," 
and conclude with "Yours sincerely," or any other 
similar form. The address on the envelope, however, 
would be the same for informal or friendly as for the 
more formal letters, and should give the titles prescribed 
by social usage. The commencement and conclusion 
for formal letters to distinguished persons, and the 
address on the envelope, is as follows: 

FOR GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS. 

The President.— Commencement, — "Sir, Your Excellency:" 
conclusion, — "I have the honor to be, Sir, your most obedient, 
humble servant, John Jones." Address on envelope, — "To His 
Excellency, The President of the United States, Washington, D. C." 

The President's Wife. — Commencement,— "Madam:" con- 
clusion, — " I have the honor to be, Madam, your most obedient, 
humble servant, A. B." Address on envelope, — " To Mrs. President- 
Hayes, Executive Mansion, Washington, D. C." 



w 



LETTERS AND NOTES. 413 

The Vice-President.— Commence,--" Sir: " conclude, — " I have 
the honor to be, Sir, your most obedient, humble servant." Direct 
the letter to " The Honorable [then give the name] , Vice-President 
of the United States;" or, to "The Honorable the Vice-President 
of the United States, [then give the town and state]." 

The Vice-President's Wife.— Commence,— "Madam:''' con- 
clude, — "I have the honor to be, Madam, your most obedient, 
humble servant." Address on the envelope, " To Mrs. Vice-Presi- 
dent , [then add the town and state]." 

The Cabinet Officers.— Commence,— " Sir: " conclude, — "I 
have the honor to be, Sir, your obedient, humble servant." Address 
the letter to "The Honorable [giving the name], Secretary of 
State;" or, to "The Honorable the Secretary of State [or of the 
Interior, or the Navy, or whichever it may be]." 

Wives of Cabinet Officers. — Commence, — "Madam:" con- 
clude, — "I have the honor to be, Madam, your obedient, humble 
servant." Address the letter to " Mrs. Secretary Evarts [ or what- 
ever the husband's name may be ] ." 

Senators. — Commence, — " Sir: " conclude, — " I have the honor 
to be, Sir, your obedient, humble servant." Address the letter to 
"The Honorable [give the name], Senator from [give the State], 
Washington, D. C." 

Senators 1 Wives. — Commence, — "Madam:" conclude, — "I 
have the honor to be, Madam, your obedient, humble servant.' T 
Address a letter to " Mrs. Senator [ give the name, then give the 
town and state ] ." 

Speaker of the House. — Commence, — "Sir:" conclude, — "I 
have the honor to be, Sir, your obedient, humble servant." 
Address a letter to " The Honorable [give the name], Speaker of 
the House of Eepresentatives; " or, " The Honorable the Speaker 
of the House of Representatives [ then give the town and state]." 

The Wife of the Speaker of the House. — Commence, — 
"Madam:" conclude, — "I have the honor to be, Madam, your 
obedient, humble servant." Address a letter to "Mrs. Speaker 
[ give the name] , Washington, D. C." 

Representatives in Congress. — Commence, — "Sir:" conclude, 
— " I have the honor to be, Sir, your obedient [or humble] servant.'' 
Address a letter to "The Honorable [give the name], House of 
Representatives, Washington, D. C." 



414 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

The Wives of Representatives. — Commence, — "Madam:" 
conclude, — "I have the honor to be, Madam, your obedient 
servant." Address a letter to "Mrs. Congressman [give the name, 
then give town and state ] ." 

The Chief Justice. — Commence, — "Sir:" conclude, — "I have 
the honor to be, Sir, your obedient, humble servant." Address a 
letter to "The Honorable [give the name], Chief Justice of the 
United States [give town and state ]; " or, to " The Honorable the 
Chief Justice of the United States." 

The Wife of the Chief Justice. — Commence, — "Madam:" 
conclude,— "I have the honor to be, Madam, your obedient, 
humble servant." Address a letter to "Mrs. Chief Justice [give 
name, add town and state ] ." 

Justices of the Supreme Court. — Commence, — " Sir: " con- 
clude, — "I have the honor to be, Sir, your obedient, humble 
servant." Address a letter to "The Honorable [give name], 
Justice of the Supreme Court [ add town and state] ." 

Wives of Supreme Court Justices. — Commence, — " Madam: " 
conclude, "I have the honor to be, Madam, your obedient, humble 
servant." Address a letter, — «« Mrs. Justice [ give name, add town 
and state]." 

Foreign Ambassadors. — Commence, — "Sir, Your Excel- 
lency: " conclude,—" I have the honor to be, Sir, your Excellency's 
most obedient, humble servant." Address a letter " To His Excel- 
lency, , Ambassador from the Court of [ give the court or 

country];" or, it might be "Envoy Extraordinary and Minister 
Plenipotentiary to [ or from] the Court of [ or, ' H. M., the King of 
']•" 

A Foreign Consul. — Commence, — "Sir;" conclude, — "I have 
the honor to be, Sir, your obedient, humble servant." Address a 

letter " To , Esq., U. S. Consul to , [state the 

country, as, for example, 'Her Britannic Majesty'], at [give the 
place, as, for instance, ' Liverpool, England ' ] ." 

FOR STATE OFFICIALS. 

To a Governor. — Commence, — " Sir, Your Excellency : " 
conclude, — "I have the honor to be, Sir, your most obedient, 
humble servant." Address a letter "To His Excellency [give 
name], Governor of [give the state, then give the city and state]." 



T 



LETTEES AND NOTES, 417 

One clergyman writing to another with whom he has little 
acquaintance beyond being in the same profession, frequently 
adopts the form, " Eev. and dear Sir." After exchanging one or 
two letters, he adopts the " Dear Sir." 

MISCELLANEOUS TITLES. 

Various titles of a miscellaneous character are used in 
addressing letters and notes of invitation, and we offer the follow- 
ing list, which will include most titles of that kind: 

His Excellency and Mrs. J. A. Garfield. 

Governor and Mrs. Richard Oglesby. 

Hon. and Mrs. William M. Evarts. 

Rev. (or Rev. Dr.) and Mrs. Leonard W. Bacon. 

Professor and Mrs. J. H. Mather. 

Dr. and Mrs. W. O. Brown. 

If the wife also has a title, one of the following may be the form: 
Drs. Geo. H. and Ellen O. Howard. 
Rev. O. B. and Mrs. Dr. J. E. Frost. 
Mr. W. H. and Mrs. Dr. H. F. Briggs. 

In addressing a lady alone the following are the forms: 
Mrs. Rev. John W. Sampson. 
Rev. Mrs. Geo. Stone, or Rev. Mrs. Julia P. Stone. 
Rev. Miss Abbey S. Smith, or Rev. Abbey S. Smith. 
Miss Dr. Mary B. Cole, or Dr. Mary B. Cole. 

His Eminence is applied to a Cardinal. 

His Grace is applied to an Archbishop. 

Right Rev. is applied to a Bishop. 

Very Rev. is applied to a Vicar General. 

Rev. is applied to a Clergyman, Priest or Rabbi. 

D. D. is applied to a Doctor of Divinity. 

LL. D. is applied to a Doctor of Laws. 

Dr. or M. D. is applied to a Physician or Surgeon. 

Dr., D. D. S., or D. M. D., is applied to a Dentist. 

D. M. is applied to a Doctor of Music. 

Prof, is applied to College Professors, Teachers and eminent 
Scholars and Scientists, who are specialists in any branch of 
learning. 

His Excellency is applied to the President tot the United 
States, the Governor of a State, and the Ministers to or from our 
country. 



418 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

The term Honorable is applied to the Vice-President, mem- 
bers of the Cabinet, Senators and Representatives, heads oi 
Departments and their Assistants, Lieutenant Governors, mem- 
bers of a State Legislature, Consuls, Mayors of cities and Judges 
of Law Courts. 

FOREIGN TITLES. 

The Queen (or King) .-—Commence— " Madam [or Sir]: " con- 
clude — " I have the honor to be, with the profoundest veneration, 
Madam [or Sir], your Majesty's most faithful subject and dutiful 
servant." Address the envelope— "To the Queen's [or King's] 
Most Excellent Majesty." 

Members of Royal Family .-—Commence—" Sir [or Madam]: " 
conclude — " I have the honor to be, Sir [or Madam], your Royal 
Highness' most obedient, humble servant." Address envelope 
—"To His [or Her] Royal Highness." 

A Duke or Duchess: — Commence — "My Lord Duke [or My 
Lady]:"conclude — "I have the honor to be, my Lord Duke [or 
Madam], jour Grace's most obedient, humble servant." Address 

envelope, " His Grace, the Duke of ," or " Her Grace, the 

Duchess of ." 

Marquis or Marchioness : — Commence, — " My Lord Marquis 
[or My Lady]:" conclude, — "I have the honor to be, my Lord 
Marquis [or Madam], your Lordship's [or Ladyship's] most 
obedient, humble servant." Address the envelope, " The Most 
Noble, the Marquis [or Marchioness] of ." 

Earl or Countess: — Commence, — "My Lord [or My Lady]: " 
conclude, — "I have the honor to be, Sir [or Madam], your most 
obedient, humble servant." Address envelope, — "To the Right 
Honorable the Earl of [or Countess of] ." 

Viscount or Viscountess: — Commence, — "My Lord [or My 
Lady]: " conclude, same as for Earl. Address envelope, — " The 
Right Honorable the Viscount [or Viscountess] of ." 

Baron or Baroness: — Commence, — " My Lord [or My Lady] : " 
conclude, same as for Earl. Address envelope, — "The Right 
Honorable the Lord [or Lady] ." 

Archbishop : — Commence, — " My Lord Archbishop : " con- 
clude,— " I have the honor to be, my Lord Archbishop, with the 



!«■« »' «*— ^ 



422 LETTERS AND NOTES. 



TO A DAUGHTER ON THE DEATH OF A CHILD. 

My darling Emma: — Oh, how my heart aches for you! I feel as though my 
own loss was almost as much as yours. I cannot write much— I am blinded by 
my tears. Oh! that I could be with you, to hold you in my arms and mingle my 
tears with yours. May God comfort you, my darling— that is our only refuge. 

MOTHER. 

LETTER TO A FRIEND ON HEARING OF A REVERSE 
OF FORTUNE. 

Mobile, Ala., Dec. 5, 1889. 

My dear Mary:—I am deeply pained to hear of your husband's sad and 
sudden loss of property. I hoped that with his experience and knowledge of 
business he would not become involved in speculation. Do not look at matters 
as hopeless, but try and sustain your husband in his misfortune, and let him 
feel that his wife can cheerfully part with luxuries that are often more highly 
prized than they deserve. Your character is still unchanged, and your friends 
esteem you as highly as ever. By economy and well-directed effort your husband 
may soon regain his position. 

Trusting that your calamity may not prove as bad as at first anticipated' 
and that your prospects may soon brighten, I am, 

Your devoted friend, 

JULIA B. THOMPSON. 

To Mbs. Maby Blaok, Atlanta, Ga. 



TO A FRIEND AFTER SUSTAINING A LOSS BY FIRE. 

Fbankfobt, Ky., June 19, 1889. 

My dear Hopkins :— I am sincerely sorry to hear of the destruction of your 
store by fire. I understand you were only partially insured, but trust j ou will 
not be seriously embarrassed. The spirit with which reverses are met shows the 
mettle of the man, and with your ability and perseverance I doubt not you will 
soon be in better shape than ever before. In the meantime be assured of my 
warmest sympathy, and, if I can be of further assistance to you, do not hesitate 
to let me know. Very truly yours, 

JOHN W. DRAPER. 

To Fbank Hopkins, 

Lexington, Ky. 



LETTERS OF CONGRATULATION. 

These may be written to a friend on receiving intel- 
ligence that any good fortune has befallen him, or upon 
the occurrence of any joyous event in his life. They 



■HI 



424 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

You are now just reaching an age when you will be able to appreciate the 
benefits and pleasures of social life, and I sincerely hope that each recurring 
anniversary will bring you increasing happiness, and the possession of that higb 
health which will contribute so much to your enjoyment. 

Your sincere friend, 

MAY B. WILLIAMS. 
To Miss Hattie Brown, 95 Bishop Court. 



CONGRATULATING A FRIEND ON HIS MARRIAGE. 

Foet Wobth, Texas, June 19, 1890. 
My dear George :— I have just received your card giving me notice of your 
marriage. Accept my hearty congratulations on the joyful event. Knowing as 
I have, your long and devoted attachment, I am the more rejoiced at its happy 
culmination in marriage. I sincerely hope that each succeeding year may find 
you happier than the one before, and that life's richest blessings may be show- 
ered upon you. Cordially yours, 

FKANK CARROLL. 
To George Harding, Dallas, Texas. 



CONGRATULATING A FRIEND ON HIS GOOD FORTUNE. 

Atlanta, Ga., Oct. 3, 1890. 
My dear Jones:— I have just learned of your promotion to the position of 
cashier in the bank. No one has noted your rapid advancement with more 
pleasare than yoar old room-mate. I know you merit all the preferment you 
have yet received, and hope this is only the prelude to something much better. 
No one rejoices, or will rejoice more at your success, than 

Your sincere friend, 

JOHN GOBLE. 
To Henry Jones, Nashville, Tenn. 



SOCIAL AND FRIENDLY LETTERS. 

The easy, graceful and prompt letter writer will 
usually have many friends, and retain them. In these 
days, however, the long-drawn-out letters of olden times 
are not in favor, shorter letters having taken their place. 
In social and friendly letters a free, easy and uncon- 
strained style is the most suitable — a style free from 
formality and pedantry. In writing to one's friends, all 
sorts of little details may be given. These things give 
life to the picture and to those who feel a personal 
interest in one's welfare they are nearly always inter- 



436 LETTERS AND NOTES. 

ANSWER TO THE LATTER. 

50 Ada St., Jan. 1, 18—. 

Dear Mrs. Ford:— The beautiful copy of Longfellow's Poems you so 

kindly sent me is just received. Longfellow has always been a favorite of mine, 

and I anticipate many hours of pleasure perusing this volume— a pleasure 

which will always be increased whenever I think of the donor. Wishing you a 

very happy New Year, I am, Sincerely yours, 

JOHN SNOW. 
To Mbs. Mary A. Ford. 

NOTE ACCOMPANYING A BOUQUET. 

Miss Hanson sends kind regards to Miss Jackson, and begs her to accept 
the accompanying bouquet. 
86 Harrison Ave., May 24. 

ANSWER TO THE LATTER. 

Miss Jackson returns her sincere thanks to Miss Hanson for the beautiful 
bouquet, and gratefully appreciates her kind expression of good will. 
75 Ann St., May 24. 

NOTE ACCOMPANYING A SILVER-WEDDING GIFT. 

35 Waverly Place, Oct, 9, 18—. 
My dear Mrs. Howard:— I have received your kind invitation to be present 
at your Silver Wedding on Tuesday next, and it will give me great pleasure to 
attend and offer my congratulations with the others present. Kindly accept the 
accompanying menu- holder, as a small token of my affection and esteem. 

Your affectionate friend, 

ELLEN M. BANGS. 
To Mrs. Mary Howard. 

ANSWER TO THE LATTER. 

45 Drexel Ave., Oct. 10, 18—. 
My dear Miss Bangs:— The beautiful menu-holder which you so kindly 
sent me has been received. Please accept my warmest thanks for your kind 
remembrance, and the expressions of affection and esteem which accompany it. 
Mr. Howard joins me in kind regards. 

Sincerely your friend, 

MARY B. HOWARD. 
To Miss Ellen Bangs. 



NOTES OE APOLOGY. 

In the exigencies of life, notes of apology are some- 
times necessary. They should be prompt, clear, and 
evidently sincere, and the reason should always be given 
for failing to meet your engagement. Never delay in 



"^■■iM***>B^MM^BBHi^^H^HBI^^Hl 




MARIA HENRIETTA 
Queen of Belgium. 



SOPHIA, 
Queen of Sweden and Norway. 



MARIA PIA. 
Queen of Portugal, 



THE QUEENS OF EUROPE. 

(442) 



■■ 



PART III 



of Various Kinds and discussing 

the Use and Abuse of 

such Articles. 



"The desire to be beautiful is instinctive, because we were ail meant 
to be so." — Miss Frances E. Willard. 

This book is virtually three distinct treatises bound together 
in one volume. This Part Third, giving "Suggestions about the 
Toilet, Beauty and Health," is designed to furnish a thoroughly 
competent and trustworthy treatise on these subjects, expressed 
so clearly and plainly as to be adapted to popular use. The 
enormous sales of the various toilet preparations in use shows 
the great need of just such information as this treatise gives. 
If this work could be placed in the hands of every young lady, 
it would save many of them from making some very unfortunate 
mistakes. It is just the book for mothers to give to their daugh- 
ters, and mothers and daughters alike will be benefitted by the 
wise counsel which it gives. 
Manners— Face part III. 



- 






■■Mi 



PART III. 



SUGGESTIONS 



ABOUT THE 



JOILZT,BZAUTY#HEALJH. 



A Popular, yet Scientific Treatise on the Cultivation 
and Preservation of Beauty and Health, and on 
Remedying Physical Defects; giving Reli- 
able Recipes for Toilet Preparations 
of Various Kinds and discussing 
the Use and Abuse of 
such Articles. 



Publisher's Note. 



IT HAS been the Publisher's desire to have the subjects of the toilet and 
toilet preparations treated in this work in a thoroughly practical and 
perfectly reliable manner, if possible ; and so, after this article was in 
manuscript, he had it carefully revised by a skillful and highly educated 
physician, with instructions to allow no indorsement or recommendation of 
injurious or questionable preparations, and this physician made many additions 
and suggestions. Certainly great pains have been taken to prepare an article 
giving all needed information on these subjects, which may be consulted by 
its readers with entire confidence. We hope it may prove helpful to that 
large class who desire to treat these matters rationally ; and, while avoiding 
all injurious nostrums to avail themselves of the benefits of legitimate toilet 
preparations. 



C4H) 



<■■ 



llWWIlMlDtOTIi 




MADAME RECAMIER. 
U51) 



"The road to lasting love is paved with lasting beauty. Health, 
beauty, love — everywhere we see them inseparably associated." — Finck. 

"We doubt if there is a woman on earth who does not desire 
to be beautiful. An instinct, deeper than reason, makes her 
crave it, for beauty is to a woman what strength is to a man, and 
it gives her a charm for the other sex which all women delight in," 
says our author. And again she says: "Because many vulgar 
people have bedaubed and bedecked themselves with a coarse and 
revolting lack of taste, much contempt and contumely has been 
heaped on the arts of the toilet. Such practices cannot be 
defended. But why, on this account, should we hesitate to sup- 
plement, or remedy defects of nature in these regards more than 
in others? If a child is born with a club foot we call in the aid 
of surgery and straighten it; if a tooth is out we replace it; and 
why, on the same principle, should we not seek to cover and 
remove other blemishes?" 

This department on the "Toilet, Beauty and Health" aims 
to tell just how to do this. The article has been carefully revised 
by a highly educated and experienced physician, and it gives the 
very latest and best information attainable on these matters. It 
is apractical and sensible treatise, discussing this whole subject. 
It is just such an article as ladies have long desired, but which 
has not been accessible to them before. 
Manner©— Face page 445. 



ABOUT BEAUTY. 




E DOUBT if there is a woman on earth 
who does not desire to be beautiful. An 
instinct, deeper than reason, makes her 
crave it, for beanty is to a woman what 
strength is to a man, and it gives her a 
charm for the other sex which all women 
delight in. Long before the advent of 
man on earth, Nature began to develop 
in the direction of the beautiful. The 
flowers flamed out in brilliai Lt colors which attracted the 
insects, and the birds and quadrupeds began to be 
influenced in their sexual selection by their sense of 
beauty. 

To the cultivated eye all Nature seems radiant with 
beauty. The delicate shades of blooming flowers, and 
the glowing tints of the sunset sky, are not exceptional, 
but only parts of the one great plan. Nature seems 
fairly prodigal with her loveliness. We see it alike in 
the lavish beauty of the butterfly's wing, in the radiant 
plumage of birds, and in the harmonious blending of 
the landscape hues. The flower that blooms only for a 
day, and fades away to be seen no more, is painted with 
an elaborate care worthy to last forever. Each changing 
season — spring, with its restful green and its blossoming 
buds; summer, with its ripening grain and blooming 
flowers ; autumn, with its mellow tints and its resplendent 
and changing foliage; and winter, with its marvelously 
beautiful crystals and its pure and glistening snow and 
ice — each comes to us clothed in robes of radiant beauty. 
Nothing is too ephemeral, or too deeply hidden from 

(445) 



ABOUT BEAUTY. 447 

ance, seeks to enhance her charms with various devices, 
although, through ignorance of the best ways to produce 
effects, she often renders herself ridiculous. Beautiful 
women strive to retain their charms, and never realize 
that they are waning without a pang of regret. " The 
desire to be beautiful is instinctive, because we were all 
meant to be so," says Miss Frances E. Willard, " though 
so ruthlessly defrauded of it, on the material plane, by 
the ignorant excesses of our ancestors and the follies of 
our own untaught years." To try, as far as we are able, 
to help our readers to overcome the consequences of 
these "ignorant excesses," and to enlighten them, so 
that they may not commit more of these follies, is one 
of the aims of this work. 

Because many vulgar people have bedaubed and 
bedecked themselves with a coarse and revolting lack of 
taste, much contempt and contumely has been heaped 
on the arts of the toilet. Such practices cannot be 
defended . But why, on this account, should we hesitate 
to supplement or remedy defects of nature in these 
regards more than in others ? If a child is born with a 
club foot, we call in the aid of surgery and straighten it; 
if a tooth is out, we replace it; and why, on the same 
principle, should we not seek to cover and remove other 
blemishes? Every one knows of cases where it would 
be a positive relief to friends and acquaintances if art 
could hide some blemish that is an eye-sore. 

The care with which a young lady makes her toilet 
when expecting a call from some desirable suitor, shows 
her sense of the importance of making herself as attrac- 
tive as possible; but, after marriage, too many women 
become careless and indifferent about their personal 
appearance. If we could read the hearts of men, and 
reveal their secrets, we should find that much of their 
discontent and dissatisfaction with their wives has its 



ABOUT BEAUT?. 449 

every noble aspiration, every gleam of intelligence, 
impresses itself on the plastic features, while every 
scowl of hate, and every evil emotion, leaves its trace. 
We all know the coarse and repulsive features which 
are produced by a career of dissipation, and the calm 
and sweet expression which comes from a life of minis- 
tering to others. Compare, for instance, the faces which 
we give elsewhere in the pictures of the Madonna and 
St. Mary, with the brazen and furrowed features of 
some hardened slave of sin. The importance, therefore, 
of obeying the laws of health, and of developing the 
intellectual and spiritual faculties, will be apparent to 
all, for these things tend in the direction of physical 
beauty. We know of no art which will transfer the 
bewitching smile of innocence and virtue to the hardened 
face of vice, or the rosy glow and elastic step of health 
to the listless victim of dissipation. 

"If educators and parents," says Finck, "would 
impress on the minds of the young the great truth that 
good moral behavior and the industry which leads to 
intellectual pre-eminence are magic sources of youthful 
and permanent personal beauty, they would find it the 
most potent of all civilizing agencies, especially with 
women." 

" Without beauty it is impossible to win. It has 
been well and wisely said: 

' The beautiful are never desolate, 
But some one always loves them/ 

The truth of this saying early forced itself on my 
attention," writes Miss Frances E. Willard, who is 
undoubtedly one of the most brilliant women of our 
day. (See her portrait, which we give elsewhere.) 

In these pages we shall attempt to offer such practical 
suggestions as will help our readers to remedy defects, 



ON DEVELOPING BEAUTY AND 
GRACE IN CHILDREN. 




HERE is no mother who desires beauty for 
herself who does not also desire it for her 
children, and many of those who have 
been denied by nature the possession of 
this charm have learned its value and 
would gladly confer it, if possible, on those 
they love with all a parent's devotion. It 
is an undoubted fact that the body, as well 
as the mind, is more easily impressed and 
moulded in childhood than in later years, and those who 
wish to have handsome and well-formed children should 
devote attention to their physical as well as their intel- 
lectual and moral development. It is within the power 
of the mothers, by a little wise forethought and care, to 
largely mould the outward grace and beauty of their 
children. These things are not altogether mysterious 
gifts of the fairies — nor of Providence — but they come in 
obedience to certain laws, as do most of our blessings 
in life. One fact, which has been clearly brought out 
by modern investigation, is the power of heredity. Each 
child is but one link in a long chain of succession, and 
to remedy many of its defects it would be necessary to 
go back to the grand-parents. But while, in common 
with all intelligent writers, we recognize the full force 
of these laws, so that if asked how to have healthy and 
beautiful children we should say, " Begin with the 
grand-parents," we yet believe that many, or most of 
these defects may be largely overcome by judicious early 

(456) 




THE MORNING OF LIFE, 
(461) 



hhhhhhhhhhhi 



THE COMPLEXION 




N DISCUSSING the subject of the toilet one 
of the first things to interest our readers, 
we doubt not, will be the complexion. No 
face can be really beautiful without a fine 
complexion ; and this is not usually attained 
without some attention to the conditions 
which favor it. Madame Recamier, who 
had a most delicate complexion, was reared 
by a mother versed in all the arts of the 
toilet, who took the utmost pains with her daughter. 

Among the blemishes most fatal to the complexion 
are sunburn, tan, freckles, roughness, wrinkles, eruptions, 
moth-spots and various discoloration s caused by dis- 
orders of the health. These various affections will be 
treated on hereafter, under their appropriate heads; 
but as many of the discolorations of the skin can be 
directly traced to imperfect action of the liver, it is very 
important that the diet should be properly regulated, 
sufficient exercise taken, and any tendency to constipa- 
tion at once attended to, as that is a primary cause of 
most of the eruptive skin affections. 

Another point to which we would call attention is 
the importance of frequent bathing of the entire body, 
to remove impurities and keep the pores of the skin 
open and in healthy activity. No invariable rules for 
bathing can be laid down, as the constitutions of differ- 
ent individuals vary so much. Skin which is neglected 
until the pores become clogged cannot perform its 
functions properly, and the system must suffer in conse- 

(468) 



THE COMPLEXION. 469 

quence. It is essential to the health that the whole 
body be thoroughly washed with soap and water at 
least once a week, and probably, in most cases, once a 
day would be better. 

Care, anxiety and fretting also affect the complexion, 
besides leaving their imprint on the countenance; so 
that, as far as possible, a calm and even temper should 
be maintained by those who would preserve their charms, 
and they should cultivate a cheerful temper and learn 
to look on the bright side of things. 

IMPORTANCE OE PURE WATER. 

The simplest, and possibly the best, of all the arti- 
ficial aids to the complexion, is to use nothing but pure 
water (rain or distilled water) for washing the skin. 
Some of the most noted beauties of the world have tried 
this practice and tested its value. Ninon de l'Enclos, 
the great French beauty, who at the age of eighty was 
still handsome, never used any other cosmetic for her 
face. Diane de Poitiers (whose portrait we give) 
who, at the age of sixty-five, still preserved her charms, 
bore testimony to the same simple custom, and com- 
mended its observance to others; and the Princess of 
Wales (see her portrait elsewhere), who has the most 
beautiful complexion, which has stood quite remarkably 
the wear and tear of time, uses nothing but distilled 
water, in which she bathes night and morning. 

Dew-ivater, which was in olden times so highly 
praised and valued for toilet purposes, and to which 
was attributed a peculiar charm, doubtless derived its 
chief value from being of the nature of distilled water 
— soft and pure. It is said that Adelina Patti (her 
portrait appears in our pages) has used dew-water for 
years, and will use nothing else for washing her face. 



HHBH 




ADELiNA PATTI. 

am 



470 THE COMPLEXION. 

It is undoubtedly excellent; but we believe rain or 
distilled water to be equally beneficial, and they can be 
much more readily obtained. 

Water-melon juice. — Another wash of a somewhat 
similar nature (although containing salts which add to 
its virtue), and which has been long used and highly 
prized by Southern ladies who well understand its 
virtues, and one which possesses undoubted excellence, 
is the juice of the water-melon. After being exposed 
to the sun and wind during a drive, sail, or other outing, 
the juice of a melon will soothe and allay the burn and 
whiten the skin. The juice from both the pulp and 
rind is used. Washing with it cleanses the skin and 
makes it soft and clear. The white pulp, next the red, 
is sometimes crushed and bound on the skin to whiten 
it, with excellent results. 

The lime and magnesia in hard water (the presence 
of which makes it hard) combine with the stearic acid 
of soap and form an insoluble stearate of lime. Noth- 
ing could be worse than this for the complexion. It is 
of a greasy nature, and, filling up the pores of the skin, 
makes them widen and crack under its influence. It is 
probable that the skin cannot be washed perfectly clean 
except in rain water, or some water from which the 
chalky alkaline salts have been artificially removed. 
The skin acts as a kind of external lung, throwing off 
by the perspiration the effete and poisonous matter of 
the system ; and so important is this to the health that 
a man would die in a few hours if the pores were closed 
by painting his body with a coat of varnish. The 
necessity of keeping the pores open and at work will, 
therefore, be evident to all. 

So many diseases can be traced directly to impure 
water, that if, for both drinking and the toilet, only rain 
or distilled water was used, the improved health and 



474 THE COMPLEXION. 

numberless complexions, simply because cheap soap is 
not pure. A soap which is both cheap and highly 
perfumed is almost certainly bad. Diseased fat and 
corrosive alkalies are used in the manufacture of these 
cheap articles, and many diseases of the skin can be 
directly traced to their use. Most of the medicated 
soaps are also humbugs, and many of them are positively 
injurious to the skin. In some of them the " medicinal " 
quality is a blind, disguising the use of inferior ingre- 
dients. Carbolic soap does not usually contain enough 
carbolic acid to act as a disinfectant (putting a few 
drops of carbolic acid in the water used for washing is 
much better than relying on the prepared soap), and the 
tar and other soaps so often recommended are worse 
than useless. There is nothing better for the skin than 
pure, unmedicated soap — the purer the better. Probably 
the best of the cheaper soaps is white castile. It is made 
of a vegetable oil (olive oil), and saponified with soda, 
giving it a detergent quality which the potash soaps do 
not possess. It is mildly alkaline, which is an advantage. 

TOILET WASHES— VAEIOUS KINDS. 

Various articles are more or less used by different 
people for toilet washes : 

Ammonia — Some people add a little ammonia to the 
water used for bathing. It is cleansing and slightly 
stimulating. 

Borax is a very useful accessory to the toilet, and is 
slightly alkaline and very cleansing. It is dissolved in 
the water used for washing. 

Oatmeal is often used, and it makes a very pleasant 
toilet article. It is emollient, will tend to keep the skin 
soft and prevent chaps, and may often be substituted for 
soap to good advantage. Thousands of people, in Ireland 



IHH 



THE COMPLEXION. 475 

and Scotland, habitually use oatmeal in place of soap, 
and they are noted for the beauty of their complexions. 
No doubt the phosphatic salts, in which it is rich, aid 
its detergent effect, in combining with and removing the 
oily matters and impurities from the skin. See our 
chapter on the hands. 

Bran is sometimes put into the water used for wash- 
ing, and, being somewhat rough, it stimulates the skin 
by friction when it is afterwards rubbed. 

Benzoin is probably one of the best toilet articles for 
the skin. It is fragrant, medicinal, and tends to whiten 
the complexion. It may be used in the proportion of 
two ounces of benzoin to one pint of alcohol, or in the 
« Virginal Milk " elsewhere given. 

On no account should any liquid wash be applied to 
the face, containing metallic powders or earthy sub- 
stances. They cause the skin to harden, shrivel and 
become rough and blotched. 

COSMETICS. 

Cosmetics (the word is derived from the Greek, 
Kosmeo, I adorn) are artificial preparations used to 
beautify the person. They have been used from the 
most ancient times, and many of the preparations used 
at present are credited with a great antiquity. Their 
use has fluctuated from the greatest popularity to the 
most scornful condemnation. In times of luxury they 
have usually been in favor, and in Rome, during her 
luxurious era, their use was carried to an extreme; but 
always, with the advent of plainer modes of life, they 
have been little used. Many cosmetics are very injurious 
to the skin, but a few of them are harmless. Among 
refined and cultivated people they are only used in 
moderation. 



476 THE COMPLEXION. 

It may be well to caution our readers against the use 
of cosmetics the preparation and ingredients of which 
they are wholly ignorant. While this article has been 
in preparation our attention has been called to an 
analysis of a widely-advertised "balm" for the com- 
plexion, the sale of which has been pushed with unusual 
skill and energy. The manufacturer has loudly adver- 
tised that it was " warranted to contain neither lead, 
bismuth nor arsenic." This is true, but an analysis 
shows that it does contain about two and one-quarter 
grains of corrosive sublimate to four ounces of water. 
The habitual use of this preparation could not fail 
to injure the skin of any lady, and a too free use 
would destroy her beauty and produce most serious 
results. And yet the manufacturer has contrived to get 
the endorsement of many distinguished people, who were 
foolish enough to endorse a preparation the ingre- 
dients of which they knew little or nothing about 
One of the most famous beauties of the last century, 
Maria Gunning, who married the Earl of Coventry, not 
content with her natural beauty sought to enhance it, 
and used cosmetics which caused her death. Physicians 
are continually called on to treat ladies suffering from 
the use of injurious cosmetics, and the patient almost 
invariably used tnem in utter ignorance of the harmful 
nature of the compound. Ladies cannot be too cautious 
about using cosmetics the composition of which they 
do not understand, however loudly they may be adver- 
tised, or however highly they may be recommended. 

COLD CREAM. 

The basis of most of the unguents so largely used is 
cold cream. It is better to prepare the cream one's 
self than to trust to that which is bought. The use of 



Another splendid feature of this work is that we give the 
exact recipes or formulas for making all sorts of toilet prepara- 
tions, as, for example, in the formula which we have here, for 
making Cold Cream. Any lady can make this herself, by the 
formula we give, and she will then know that it is pure, and that 
she has the best Cold Cream there is. This treatise is full of 
recipes of this kind, and the price of the book can be saved 
many times over by preparing these toilet articles one's self, 
instead of buying them at the stores and paying the fancy prices 
which are charged for them there. 
Manners— Face page 476. 



476 



THE COMPLEXION. 



It may be well to caution our readers against the use 
of cosmetics the preparation and ingredients of which 
they are wholly ignorant. While this article has been 
in preparation our attention has been called to an 
analysis of a widely-advertised " balm " for the com- 
plexion, the sale of which has been pushed with unusual 
skill and energy. The manufacturer has loudly adver- 
tised that it was " warranted to contain neither lead, 
bismuth nor arsenic." This is true, but an analysis 
shows that it does contain about two and one-quarter 
grains of corrosive sublimate to four ounces of water. 
The habitual use of this preparation could not fail 
to injure the skin of any lady, and a too free use 
would destroy her beauty and produce most serious 



invariably used tnem m utter ignorance or xne narmiui 
nature of the compound. Ladies cannot be too cautious 
about using cosmetics the composition of which they 
do not understand, however loudly they may be adver- 
tised, or however highly they may be recommended. 



COLD CEEAM. 



The basis of most of the unguents so largely used i» 
cold cream. It is better to prepare the cream one's 
self than to trust to that which is bought. The use of 



■■■■■■■ 



THE COMPLEXION. 477 

this preparation, when made out of pure materials after 
the formula we give, is an excellent thing for the skin, 
and vastly better than to resort to the unknown com- 
pounds so often bought and used by ladies. The 
glycerine and other ingredients of which this cold 
cream is made, are soothing and healing in their action 
on the skin ; they do not close the pores, and their action 
is not only harmless but beneficial as well, while many 
of the messes commonly used are positively injurious 
as we have previously explained. 

The formula for making cold cream is as follows : 
Take of pure white wax. one ounce ; spermaceti, two 
ounces; almond oil, one-half pint. Mix these together 
in a glazed earthenware dish over a gentle heat. While 
melting they should be thoroughly stirred together and 
mixed with a silver or glass spoon. When melted, add 
three ounces of glycerine and ten drops of attar of roses. 
Then strain through muslin, and as it cools stir it to a 
snowy whiteness. A smaller quantity than this may 
be prepared by keeping the same proportions, and any 
other perfume may be substituted for the attar of roses 
if pref ered. 

Stirring and beating it well all the time it is cooling 
is the secret of making fine cold cream. When it is 
intended for the hair the glycerine may be omitted, 
and a little more almond oil added. On going to bed 
at night the face may be washed in soft water, care- 
fully dried, and this cold cream rubbed over it carefully 
from forehead to chin, with the hand, and then wiped 
off with a soft towel. The frequency with which this 
unguent is used should depend on the condition of the 
skin, but it should not be applied every night. 

EMULSION FOR THE COMPLEXION. 

There is said to be no better emulsion for the com- 



THE COMPLEXION. 483 

the skin. We have elsewhere explained the importance 
to the health of keeping these pores open and freely at 
work, and any powder which closes them and checks 
their action in discharging the effete matter from the 
system, will force them to retain the secretions, and lay 
the foundation for various eruptive diseases. When 
powders of any kind are used, they should be washed 
off before retiring, and never allowed to remain on the 
skin over night. 

One very intelligent writer says: "The health and 
beauty of the skin depend mainly on the cleanliness 
and freedom of its transpiratory pores. If these be 
choked up and loaded with foreign matter, it is obvious 
that the regular functions of the skin cannot be fulfilled, 
and the result will, sooner or later, show itself in the 
accumulation of black deposit in the orifices of the 
glands, red blotches, due to deranged circulation, and 
even grave disfigurements, arising from the deleterious 
action of certain chemical ingredients used in the com- 
position of such cosmetics." 

ROUGE. 

The word rouge is French, and means "red." There 
are many preparations on the market, and the use of 
those which are not injurious to the skin is purely a 
matter of taste. They have been so often abused that 
many are prejudiced against them. But, if it is right 
to adorn the person with laces, ribbons and jewels, it is 
hard to see why the complexion may not be " touched 
up " a little. 

The experienced women of the world should know, 
however, that most of the artifices they resort to are but a 
thin veil through which the keen eye readily penetrates. 
Fresh air, pure water and exercise will do more to 




DIANE de POITIERS. 
(471) 



"There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip," — Shakespeare. 

This chapter on the "Affections of the Skin" is a fair sample 
of the complete and thorough way in which all the different sub- 
jects are handled. Over forty (40) different affections of the 
skin are described in this one chapter alone, and the very best 
treatment known for each one is given. And the remedies we 
recommend are not the untested nostrums of irresponsible 
quacks, but they are the most reliable preparations known to 
modern science. 

The amount of injury done by the use of deleterious toilet 
preparations is amazing, as is well known to all physicians in 
active practice. Such preparations are used by people in ignor- 
ance of their true character, but all these evils might be easily 
avoided if ladies would consult and follow the suggestions given 
in this book. 
Manners— Face page 489. 



AFFECTIONS OF THE SKIN. 




HE SKIN covers the whole external surface 
of the body, and extends inward into all 
its natural openings, and there, becoming 
soft and moist, it is known as " mucous 
membrane." The derma, or true skin, 
lies underneath the epidermis, or cuticle, 
which covers and protects it. The more 
superficial or outer surface of the derma, 
or true skin, takes the form of papillae — 
that is, minute soft conical bodies arranged in orderly 
rows. The expansions of the sensitive nerves are in the 
papillae. From the derma, or true skin, myriads of pores, 
or openings, are provided, to the surface of the cuticle 
or epidermis ; and through these pores the perspiration 
and other exhalations occur. Anything which arrests 
these processes, whether by internal check or by using 
artificial coverings or varnishes on the outer surface, is 
attended with great danger. The cuticle, or epidermis, 
is composed of a disorganized scaly substance in layers 
— something like the tiles on a roof. They protect the 
sensitive derma from injury. The outer scales are con- 
tinually desquamating or falling off. The hairs have 
their roots in the true skin or derma, and numerous 
glands, secreting fatty matter which serves for their 
nutrition, are appended to them. 

For convenience of reference the various affections 
of the skin of which we treat will be arranged alphabet- 
ically. 

(489) 



496 AFFECTIONS OF THE SKIN. 

even dangerous shock to the system, in which case 
medical assistance should be sought as soon as possible. 

Acids, when strong, will destroy or " burn" the skin. 
When the injury is caused by carbolic acid, apply olive 
oil. For sulphuric, nitric or hydrochloric acids, apply 
dilute ammonia, chalk, carbonate of magnesia, or the 
plaster from the ceiling, powdered and stirred in water. 
In an hour or two, apply equal parts of olive oil and 
lime-water on lint. 

Alkalies, like ammonia or potash, when so strong as 
to injure the skin, should be counteracted by at once 
applying some dilute acid like vinegar. 

Chaps. — This unpleasant affection is caused by 
exposure to the cold. To prevent them, keep the hands 
warmly covered, and, when they are washed, always 
wipe them perfectly dry. Pure glycerine is undoubtedly 
one of the best remedies for chaps. The following 
formula will also be found an excellent application: 
Take of glycerine one ounce, chalk two ounces, and milk 
five ounces. Mix, and rub on the hands. 

Chilblains. — See our chapter on '• The Feet." 

Comedones. — See Acne. 

Corns.— See our chapter on "The Feet." 

Dandruff or Scurf. — See our chapter on "The 
Hair." 

Dark Lines under the Eyes. — These are caused 
by some drain on the system, which lowers it below the 
normal standard. Lack of sleep, dissipation, exhausting 
diseases, etc., may produce this effect. The treatment 
must, of course, vary with the cause. When due to 
overwork, dissipation, etc., the manner of life must be 
changed, and a tonic treatment is almost always needed. 

For local treatment, bathe the parts often with cold 
water, and then apply friction with the fingers or towel. 
A little turpentine liniment or weak ammonia, say one 




THE PRINCESS OF WALES. 

(481) 



498 AFFECTIONS OF THE SKIN. 

Freckles. — The discolorations of the skin known as 
" freckles " may be caused by exposure to the sun, or by 
disorders of the internal organs. When caused by the 
action of the sun, a very simple but effective remedy is 
to touch them with nitre (saltpetre) moistened with 
water and applied with the finger. Apply three times a 
day, and it will remove them without further trouble. 
A good wash for freckles, which should be applied fiye 
or six times a day, is saturated solution of borax and 
rose water. When the freckles are caused by disorders 
of the internal organs, a regular physician should be 
consulted. 

Frost Bites. — For these the part attacked should 
be rubbed in snow and then in very cold water. Then 
cold, dry flannels should be applied. The theory is, that 
the circulation should be restored slowly. To apply 
heat is a very dangerous operation, and may cause 
serious inflammation. For slight frost bites, very bene- 
ficial results often follow from putting the part affected 
in strong salt and water for twenty or thirty minutes. 
If soreness follows frost bites, treat as for burns and 
scalds. 

Greasiness of the Skin.— This complaint is quite 
common, and is usually caused by want of tone in the 
sebaceous glands, so that they secrete abnormal quan- 
tities of oily matter in excess of their natural use. The 
general hygienic treatment is very important in this as 
in other skin diseases. Among the more important 
directions are to abstain from rich foods, and eat plenty 
of fruit in the morning to act as a laxative, and also eat 
green foods, like dandelion, etc., in their season, and 
also drink some of the saline mineral waters. Vapor 
baths, and douche baths, tepid or cold, according to the 
season of the year, out-door exercise, and avoiding hot, 
crowded rooms, are important. Friction with flesh 



506 AFFECTIONS OF THE SKIN. 

Nettle-rash. — This affection takes its name from 
its resemblance to the appearance of the skin after 
having been stung by a nettle. It is often caused by 
indigestion, or eating some food like lobster, preserved 
meats or other articles which disagree with the patient. 
The treatment is to remove the cause — avoid any 
particular article of food to which it can be traced- 
Some laxative should be given (the cathartic mineral 
waters, like Hunyadi Janos, are best for this purpose, 
especially if the disease appears in summer), followed 
by doses of soda or magnesia. To allay the irritation 
or itching, relief may nearly always be obtained by 
bathing in warm water in which soda has been dissolved, 
or apply a lotion made of twenty grains of carbonate of 
soda, two teaspoonfuls of glycerine, and rose water 
sufficient to make six ounces. Do not try to suppress 
the eruption, least it lead to more serious trouble. 

Pallid Skin. — This is an indication, usually, of 
debility. It may be occasioned by loss of blood, or 
other vital fluids, insufficient supply of food or oxygen, 
or from dissipation, over-study, or any excess. These 
cases can generally be easily cured by a proper course 
of hygienic living and a few remedies properly admin- 
istered. For local treatment, cold bathing, followed by 
friction, is recommended, and for the cheeks the 
■following: Take one ounce of dilute liquid of ammonia, 
two ounces of glycerine, and four ounces of pure water. 
Mix, and apply for about three minutes each day> 
working well into the skin. Afterwards rub with a soft 
towel for three or four minutes. Double the glycerine 
if the skin becomes irritated by the process. If medi- 
cine is needed, consult a physian. 

Pimples. — These eruptions may occur on the face, 
or they may cover the whole body. They are usually 
an indication that the system is out of order, and should 



MM 




MADAME de STAEL. 
(501) 






MiittlMttMMMMWif 



mam 



THE HAIR. 




T. PAUL said: "If a woman have long hair 
it is a glory to her." The hair certainly bears 
an important relation to beanty, and its loss 
would be the destruction of female loveli- 
ness. In all nations and ages its praises 
have been sung. One author says: "It 
relieves and surrounds happily all that is 
attractive and beautiful in a female face; 
even in old age, it is one of the most forcible 
reasons for respect." A beautiful head of hair is no 
insignificant item in a girl's dowry. When the growth 
of hair is too luxuriant it becomes quite burdensome. 
A healthy growth will not usually extend below the waist. 
It is naturally much heavier or thicker on some heads 
than others. ( See the illustrations of St. Mary and Mrs. 

M for heavy growths of good hair. ) 

The inherited constitution and pre- disposition, the 
temperament, the health, and accidental circumstances, 
all affect the quantity and quality of the hair. Ill- 
health, mental trouble and anxiety, may cause the hair 
to fall prematurely, and a disposition to fret and worry, 
or overstudy, may weaken and thin it. Persons of bilious 
and sanguine temperaments usually have more abundant 
hair than those of nervous and lymphatic temperaments. 
Among the causes which injure the hair, and which 
may be easily avoided, may be mentioned the use of 
tight-fitting bonnets, or hats which are impervious to 
the air; the use of pads, heavy artificial plaits, fringes 
and head-dresses, and the absurd and unhealthy custom 

(520) 



526 THE HAIE. 

about using washes of cantharides and other Irritants, 
designed to stimulate the growth of the hair. 
Baldness.— See "Thin and Falling Hair." 
Bandoline. — See " Curling the Hair" for a recipe. 
Bleaching the Hair. — Most of the agents used to 
bleach hair are positively injurious, and should never 
be used. The simplest and most harmless preparation 
for this purpose is peroxide of hydrogen, sometimes 
called " oxygenated water." It is sold under many 
high-sounding names, but can be bought at almost any 
drug store for a moderate price. It is as colorless and 
transparent as pure water. It should be kept in a blue 
glass bottle, and in a dark place, as the light will 
decompose it. To apply it, first wash the hair with hot 
water containing the preparation of soap, ammonia, 
and soda previously given. This is intended to make 
the hair perfectly clean, as otherwise little effect will be 
produced by the liquid. Then dry the hair thoroughly 
(this is quite important), and apply the peroxide. This 
is best done with a tooth brush, going over the hair 
carefully one strand at a time, from the scalp to the end, 
wetting every part. Another way is to wet the hair 
with a small sponge and then brush it with a soft 
brush to distribute it evenly. The best time to 
use it is in the morning, and, when practicable, 
in the sunlight, leaving the hair unbound until it dries. 
Repeat the operation on the second, third and succeed- 
ing mornings, until the desired shade is reached. The 
number of applications needed will depend somewhat 
on the natural color of the hair, one or two applications 
sufficing for light hair, and four or even six being 
required for the darker shades. As the hair grows out 
it must be touched up near the roots frequently (say once 
a month), or it will look dark and dirty there; bleached 
hair must also be washed often, as it shows dirt plainly. 



■ 



*«•■■■ 




MISS FRANCES E. WILLARO 
(511) 



THE HAIR. 527 

The hair to which this preparation is best adapted 
is coarse, dark brown hair, which is inclined to be 
curly. It gives this a rich gleaming color. The natural 
hue of the hair will, however, affect the operation of this 
agent, and some shades will become dull and faded 
looking, and others a ruddy gold. When properly used 
this peroxide is harmless, but its persistent use will 
gradually lighten the hair until it becomes a pale flaxen 
— almost white. But carried thus far the hair will be 
considerably injured and its vitality impaired. 

Another means employed to accomplish this result 
is by the use of strong oxalic acid (one ounce to a pint 
of boiling water) which is applied to the hair with a 
sponge, after greasing the skin, which is done to protect it 
from the action of the acid (it should act in five minutes). 
Covering the hair with a paste made of powdered 
sulphur in water, is another method employed. One 
should sit in the sunlight for several hours with this on 
the hair. Bi-sulphate of magnesia and lime is some- 
times used, but none of these things are equal to the 
peroxide of hydrogen, and we do not recommend them. 
We should advise not to bleach the hair by any method. 

For a preparation for bleaching wigs, see " Wigs." 

Curling and Crimping the Hair. — To make 
naturally straight hair grow in curls is probably impos- 
sible. The nostrums advertised for this purpose are 
almost all injurious. Heated irons, unless wrapped 
in paper as a safeguard, are destructive to the vitality 
of the hair. The too liberal use of oils and hair 
washes will often give hair a straight and lank appear- 
ance. Discontinue their use and wash the hair in soft 
water, dry it carefully, and then, with a soft brush, 
brush it in waves instead of straight lines. This will 
relieve the stiff and lank appearance, if properly done. 
Among the simplest and best things to use on the hair 



THE HAIR. 533 

friction, and carefully comb and brush the hair with a 
soft brush, and once a day apply the following: 

Take of castor oil 1 ounce. 

Tincture of cochineal 1 ounce. 

Rectified spirits 1 pint. Mix. 

Hair Dyes. — We suppose it to be useless to declaim 
against the folly and danger of using poisonous and 
deleterious dyes and washes for the hair. As long as 
the desired change can be produced, the red hair turned 
dark or the dark hair made blonde, the ardent vanity 
of women will lead them to resort to the use of such 
preparations as they believe will accomplish the desired 
result. The most w^e can do is to point out the dangers 
of using poisonous preparations, and give directions 
for using those least injurious to the hair. All the 
preparations of lead, copper and bismuth are poisonous 
and dangerous. The continued application of these 
ingredients will often produce most deleterious results, 
both on the hair and the general health — which may 
even result in paralysis and death. 

Hair is naturally darker at the scalp than at the 
ends, because at that point there is a more copious 
supply of coloring matter in the cells. The most beauti- 
ful hair is never all of one shade, and to make it so 
gives it an unnatural appearance and strongly suggests 
dyeing. Tresses of varying hues, as the light plays 
through them, have always been the delight of artists. 

Before applying any dye or coloring fluid, the hair 
should be thoroughly cleansed from grease and dirt by 
washing it with hot water, in which ammonia, soda and 
borax are dissolved, as without this precaution the dyes 
often will produce no effect. After drying the hair 
carefully the dyes can be best applied, usually, with a 
soft tooth brush. Dip it in the dye and then brush the 
hair with it. There is always danger of staining the 



555 




})\ i// / V 



MRS. M- 



(Showing Hair.) 



(521) 



531 THE HAIE. 

skin, and it is a safeguard to smear it (the skin only — 
not the hair) with pomatum, to keep the dye from 
touching it. This can be washed off afterwards and 
objectionable discoloration avoided. 

Black. — By washing the hair repeatedly in a prepara- 
tion of iron until the liquid is absorbed into the hairs, and 
then washing it in a preparation of tannin, they will act 
chemically on each other and produce a black color. 
This is the principle on which black ink is produced. 
This is as harmless as any black dye we know. The 
process is as follows : 

Take of sulphate of iron 10 grains. 

Glycerine 1 ounce. 

Distilled water 1 pint. Mix. 

Twice a day for three days wash the hair thoroughly 
with this preparation, and then dry and brush it well. 
At the end of three days apply the following : 

Take of gallic acid 4 grains. 

Tannic acid 4 grains. 

Distilled water 1% ounces. Mix. 

Apply this with a fine-tooth comb, being careful to 
keep it from the skin, which it will stain. Subsequently 
they may both be applied once a day, applying the 
second preparation an hour or two after the first, until 
the hair becomes black. 

Another: 

Take of nitrate of silver 7 drachms. 

Rose-water 8 ounces. Mix. 

This is a French recipe. Used at full strength it 
produces a perfect black. By adding its bulk of distilled 
water it will make the hair a deep brown or chestnut. 
If twice its bulk of water is added it produces a light 
brown shade. 



EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES. 



AEK and regular eyebrows and eyelashes 
certainly give a beauty to the face, in every 
way superior to the lighter colors. No 
inconsiderable part of the impression which 
the eye produces is due to the eyebrows 
and eyelashes, and they are an important 
factor in the expression of the countenance. 
Among the Greeks, eyebrows which met 
in the middle were not popular; but the 
Roman fashion favored them and resorted to artificial 
means for their production. The Persians, Egyptians 
and Assyrians painted their eyebrows to increase their 
apparent width. 




THE EYEBEOWS. 



The eyebrows should arch slightly, be moderately 
thick and lie smooth, to be beautiful. Although tradition 
ascribes future prosperity to persons whose eyebrows 
meet, it is usually considered a deformity, as it gives a 
scowling expression to the face. The remedy is, to pull 
out each hair, for about one-third of an inch, between 
the brows. 

To correct irregular eyebrows, all the irregular hairs 
which make them appear uneven should be plucked out 
with tweezers. The eyebrows should be combed, and 
brushed with a soft brush toward the ear. A little olive 
oil may be applied with advantage occasionally. 

If the hair grows too long, it may be clipped with 

(W6) 



m 




ST. MARY. 
(531) 



HHHHHNHHHHHHBBl 



THE EYES, EARS AND NOSE. 




ASCAL has called attention to the fact that 
if Cleopatra's nose had been a little longer 
it might have affected the political destiny 
of all the later nations. The eyes and nose 
are so prominent that if they are irregular or 
deformed they arrest at once the attention 
of the beholder, and the beauty of the coun- 
tenance is destroyed. The ears, however, 
are less prominent, and, if inelegant, can be 
more easily concealed by arranging the hair for that 
purpose. Savages, with their absence of correct taste, 
and their blind slavery to their local fashions, produce 
various disfigurements of these organs. 

THE EYES. 

The eyes are the most expressive feature of the face. 
They are the soul's mirrors, and reflect the thoughts 
within. Guyon has said that " Whoever has received 
from God the precious gift of strong, beautiful eyes, 
should carefully preserve them." 

The great enemies of the eyes are wind and dust, 
the glare of the sun or artificial light, and overtaxing 
them in reading, study or work. Those who are exposed 
to the wind and dust should protect their eyes with 
glasses. Ladies have some protection in their veils, but 
these should be dark colored and the meshes close set. 

The glare of the sun, as on white sand, etc., may be 
met by wearing colored glasses (the London-smoke is 
the best). So far as the over-work is concerned, each 

(550) 



THE EYES, EAES AND NOSE. 553 

one must exercise his own common sense and be careful 
not to overtax his eyes. When the eyes are easily 
irritated by the wind and sun, a wash of one part of 
camphor to eight of rosewater will be found beneficial. 

Children should not be subjected to sudden changes 
from darkness to light, and their hair should never be 
allowed to fall into their eyes and irritate them. 

If the eyes are sticky and gummed together, they 
may be bathed for a few minutes in tepid milk and 
water; but do not rub them, as that will cause irritation. 

Persons who are afflicted with long or short sighted- 
ness should wear glasses adapted to their eyes, as it 
relieves them from constant strain and tends to their 
preservation. 

Bilious Eyes. — These are caused by inaction of the 
liver. The treatment is internal remedies, exercise, cold 
bathing, and a nourishing diet. 

Black Eye. — When the eye receives a slight bruise 
the discoloration of the surrounding tissue which so 
often results may frequently be prevented by the appli- 
cation of a little brandy, whisky or spirits of wine. 

Bloodshot Eyes. — They may be treated by using 
some of the lotions elsewhere recommended for chronic 
cases of watery eyes. 

Cross Eyes.— See " Squinting." 

Objects in the Eye. — When a cinder or other 
substance gets into the eye, do not rub it — that will 
make it worse. Wait a minute, and then gently open 
and close the lid. The tears which follow this operation 
will usually wash out the intruding substance. If this 
fails, however, turn out the lid under which is the sub- 
stance, and remove it with a soft handkerchief. The eye 
may be painful for an hour or two after the object has 
been removed, but by bathing it with a little warm salt 
water the redness will soon subside. If the object is 



wmmmm 




THE FIRST HOUR OF NIGHT. -(Raphael.) 
(541) 



THE MOUTH AND TEETH. 



ANTE has said that " the mouth is the end 
of love." It possesses both beauty of out- 
line and the charm of emotional expressic. \ 
Sir Charles Bell has said that "the lips 
are, of all the features, the most suscept- 
ible of action, and the most direct index of 
the feelings." The mouth is man's most 
delicate instrument for intellectual and 
emotional expression. The under lips 
should be fuller than the upper, and Winckelman says, 
"the lips answer the purpose of displaying a more 
brilliant red than is to be seen elsewhere." " The size 
and shape of the lips afford an index of coarse or refined 
ancestry," says Finck. See, for a beautiful mouth, the 
portrait of Diane de Poitiers which we give, and some 
of our other illustrations. 




THE LiPS. 



The skin of the lips being very thin they are easily 
deranged, and often the atmosphere will cause them to 
chap and crack. They may be modified or distorted by 
pernicious habits. Sucking and biting their lips, which 
is a trick of some children, will distort them, and, unless 
the habit is given up, may cause permanent deformity. 
The habit of making mouths never adds any to the 
emphasis of conversation, and is to be condemned, as it 
may lead to actual malformations. When lips are too 
thin, sucking them will sometimes increase their thick- 

(559) 



THE MOUTH AND TEETH. 563 

for eruptions on the lips is the following: Take one 
scruple of tannin, one gill of water, and six drops of 
essence of bergamot. Mix thoroughly, and apply with 
a soft linen cloth. 

Fever Blisters.— These should not be rubbed or 
scratched. Every three or four hours they may be 
touched with the following: Take one teaspoonful of 
glycerine, ten drops of carbolic acid, and two drops of 
attar of roses. Mix. 

Herpes Labialis, as it is called, an eruption which 
attacks the lips, we have previously treated among the 
"Affections of the Skin " (which see). 

Pale Lips. — This is usually an indication of debility. 
In such cases, constitutional treatment may be required. 
A simple local treatment is to rub them briskly with a 
tooth-brush or a woolen cloth. This calls the blood to 
the surface, and the glow will often last for hours. Cay- 
enne lozenges, moistened and rubbed over the lips, will 
deepen the color by stimulating the blood vessels. A 
harmless color for the lips may be made as follows: 

Take of oil of sweet almonds 3 ounces. 

Spermaceti 1 ounce. 

Rice flour % ounce. 

Melt in an earthen jar over a slow fire, and stir well 
until cold. Perfume with a little rose oil. Put some 
alkanet powder in a muslin bag and let it soak for a 
week or ten days in the almond oil before that is used. 
This will impart a red color. This is much better than 
any preparation of poisonous red lead. If alkanet root 
is soaked in alcohol for three or four days, and then 
strained and bottled, it makes a good rouge for the lips. 
It may be applied with a piece of linen. 

E.ed and Swollen Lips. — For these, apply a warm 
bread-and-milk poultice, or one made of potatoes. 







NINON de I'ENCLOS. 
(551) 



We give here directions for making some of the best denti- 
frices, or tooth powders and washes, ever prepared. They will 
cleanse and preserve the teeth, and they can be made very much 
cheaper than such preparations can be bought for at the stores, 
besides being much better for the teeth than most of them. This 
book is full of valuable and useful suggestions like these. In 
fact the information which it gives is so important and reliable 
that it should be in every family. 
Manners— Face page 570. 



570 THE MOUTH AND TEETH. 

an opiate, none of it should be swallowed. After the 
pain subsides, a strong solution of tannin may be used 
as a mouth wash, and it will hinder the return of the 
pain. The daily use of this, or salt in tepid water, will 
harden the nerve pulp, and so check the pain from 
starting again. 

Tooth Powders.— One of the best dentifrices known, 
is recently prepared fine charcoal — especially that of 
the areca-nut. It has deodorizing properties and acts 
mechanically as well as chemically. It cleans the teeth 
by friction, without scratching, as harder substances are 
apt to do. The following formula will be found good: 

Take of powdered charcoal 5 ounces. 

Cuttle-fish bone (powdered) 2 ounces. 

Myrrh 1 ounce. 

Orris root 1 ounce. Mix. 

Or like proportions in other quantities. This is a safe 
and good tooth powder, and much better than the usual 
articles sold in the stores. Unless made of the areca- 
nut charcoal, this dentifrice is black, its color being the 
only objection to it. Hard-wood charcoals, like hickory 
or maple, are best for the teeth. 

Camphorated chalk possesses antiseptic qualities as 
well as those of an inert nature, and it makes an excel- 
lent tooth powder. The proportion should be one of 
camphor to eleven of chalk. 

When teeth manifest a tendency to decay, an excellent 
antiseptic tooth lotion is the following: 

Take of camphor ] drachm. 

Rectified spirits 20 drops. 

Distilled water 1 pint. Mix. 

Or take one ounce of tincture of myrrh, and one 
ounce of compound tincture of cinchona, and one ounce 
of distilled water. Mix. 



THE HANDS AND ARMS. 




EAUTIFULLY formed hands and arms are 
a great attraction, and, alas, they are quite 
too rare. Long, slim or bony arms are not 
compatible with beauty. They suggest 
emaciation and a want of vigor and health. 
The arms of savages are longer and not so 
full and well rounded as those of civilized 
men, being about midway between those of 
civilized men and their simian relatives (!). 
No other organ of the body, however, is so highly 
developed and adapted to such varied uses as the hand. 
It fashions all man's tools, and supplies his art and 
music. It is also capable of great emotional expression, 
varying from the caress of love to the strike of hate. 
We give an illustration showing a fine arm and hand. 
A beautiful hand should be rather long and somewhat 
tapering, and the fingers also tapering and long. The 
arm should be plump, round, white, small at the wrist, 
and gracefully tapering. 



THE HANDS. 



Some one has not inaptly termed the hand "the 
second face." Balzac says that "men of superior 
intellect almost always have beautiful hands, the per- 
fection of which is the distinctive indication of a high 
destination " It is not very difficult to keep the hands 
smooth and soft, although in few cases are they perfectly 
formed. As well kept hands are one of the chief points 

(572) 



MH 




THE MADONNA OF THE THUMB. 
(561) 



578 THE HANDS AND AEMS. 

tight. Bathing the hands in vinegar is said to help the 
trouble, and avoid using very hot water. 

Finger-Stalls. — Finger-stalls are now made which 
are worn by some ladies to shape the fingers from the 
first joint to the end. 

Needle Pricks. — The needle pricks which disfigure 
the fingers of so many ladies after they have been sew- 
ing, may be removed by rubbing them with coarse 
pumice stone, If the finger is rubbed down until it 
smarts, it may be smeared with vaseline, and the finger 
of an old glove slipped on, which will cure the soreness 
in a single night. 

Profuse Perspiration. — Some people are troubled 

with excessive perspiration of the palms of the hands, 

giving them a moist and clammy feeling, which is very 

unpleasant. This is usually worse in warm than in 

cold weather, and it varies in different individuals. It 

is difficult to cure. Light forms of the complaint may 

be treated by washing the hands in warm soft water, 

and, after drying carefully, apply powdered lycopodium, 

fuller's earth or oxide of zinc. Starch and rice flour 

are also sometimes used. Rubbing the hands with 

lemon- juice is also useful in such cases ; but it must not 

be used at the same time as soap. Other good remedies 

are: To add two or three drachms of alum, or a few 

grains of tannin to the pint of water in which the 

hands are washed, or one or two drachms of sulphate of 

zinc. A good powder to apply to the hands in such 

cases is the following: Take one-third of an ounce 

of salicylic acid, two-thirds of an ounce of talc, and 

nine ounces of starch (all powdered), and mix them 

thoroughly. Use like proportions for larger quantities. 

Obstinate cases may be treated with astringent and 

alcoholic lotions. In these cases, also, belladonna is one 

of the best remedies. AVash the hands three times a 



THE FEET AND LOWER LIMBS. 




O FAR as beauty of appearance is concerned 
the feet and legs are among the least im- 
portant members of the body. Trifling 
defects are easily concealed, and only the 
glaring deformities, as a rule, attract atten- 
tion. In observing the follies of fashion 
hardly any member of the body has suffered 
more than the foot. The Chinese custom 
of bandaging and distorting these members 
is too well known to need description, but we fear the 
highly civilized races are not altogether free from the 
same folly, although they have it in i, milder form . The 
human foot, as nature designed it, is really a' beautiful 
thing. 8ee, for example, the feet in our illustration 
entitled, " Whither Would You Fly?" 

THE FEET. 

Large feet are considered a misfortune, and there is 
hardly anything about which vain people are more 
sensitive than the size of their feet. The effort to get 
number four feet into number two-and-a-half shoes 
produces endless torture, and many malformations of 
these members. A beautiful foot is a proper object 
of pride, but where can the sculptor or artist find a 
perfect model in these days of high -heeled shoes with 
pointed toes? Boots and shoes should be made to order, 
or should at least fit the feet easily, without cramping or 
pinching them. Tight and ill-fitting shoes produce 
corns and bunions, impair the gracefulness of carriage, 

(586) 




MISS BELLE U- 



-. (Showing Arm and Hand.) 
(579) 



THE FEET AND LOWEE LIMBS. 591 

great toe and the next one, near the end, and then place 
another pad over the enlarged joint, and wear a strong 
elastic band over this and around the foot, designed to 
press the joint back into place as much as possible. A 
little time will make an improvement. 

Chilblains. — These inflammations of the skin are 
caused, usually, by abrupt transitions from cold to heat, 
as by getting the feet very cold and then warming them 
by a stove. In our chapter on the hands, we discuss the 
treatment of chilblains, as our readers may see. To 
prevent chilblains the feet should be kept warmly cov- 
ered, and when they are very cold they should not be 
warmed at a fire or in warm water. Bathe them, 
instead, in cold water, and then dry and apply friction. 
The principle is much the same as that of rubbing a 
frozen ear with snow, instead of thawing it out by a 
warm fire. Inflamed chilblains should be protected 
from the friction of shoes or boots, and absolute rest 
may, in extreme cases, be required for a time. The 
affected parts may be bathed with turpentine liniment, 
or camphorated spirits, or a lotion made of nine drachms 
of compound soap liniment and three drachms of tincture 
of cantharides, mixed. 

Cold Feet. — People who are troubled with cold feet 
will find that a simple and effective remedy is to bathe 
them in cold water night and morning, and then apply 
friction to stimulate the circulation. A little red pep- 
per, dusted into the stockings, will do much to prevent 
cold feet in the winter. Exercise also relieves this com- 
plaint. They may be caused by debility, and then 
internal remedies will be required. As a rule, woolen 
stockings should be worn by people thus troubled. The 
wearing of these will, however, in some persons, cause a 
perspiration which results in cold feet. A woolen stock- 
ing with a merino foot is now sold for such cases. 



592 THE FEET AND LOWER LIMBS. 

Corns. — These are simply an increased growth of the 
skin, caused by irritation from pressure or friction. 
They are of two kinds, — the soft and hard. The most 
common cause is tight shoes, but those which fit badly 
will often cause them by friction, even when they are 
loose. The first remedy is, of course, to try and remove 
the cause, by getting pliant and well-fitting shoes. 
Bathe the feet in warm water, and pare away the corn 
as much as possible. Then, by applying a little vinegar 
or strong acetic acid at night, and smearing it with a 
little oil in the morning, a cure can often be effected. 
Wearing a pad with a hole in the center, over the corn, 
to relieve the pressure, is an old and good remedy. 
Soda and potash are often applied to corns, like the 
vinegar previously recommended, with good results, 
Much suffering is sometimes occasioned by a peculiar 
kind of soft corn which forms under the corner of the 
great toe nail. By lifting the nail it can usually be 
discovered and turned out. When corns are very sensi- 
tive, they may be touched with lunar caustic, and a 
poultice applied if they are much inflamed. 

The soft corns occur between the toes, and are kept 
soft by the perspiration of the feet. They should be 
cut down with a pair of scissors, and the toes kept sepa- 
rate by wearing a small wad of linen or cotton between 
them. This relieves the friction or pressure. Touching 
the corn with lunar caustic is also often effective. Make 
only one application, and wait until the scab comes off 
before making another. It may not be needed. The 
feet should be bathed often, and perfect cleanliness 
observed. 

Ingrowing Nails. — This painful affection may be 
cured by soaking the toes in warm water and then 
slipping a delicate strip of soft wood underneath the 
edge of the affected nail, and fastening it in place with 




WHITHER WOULD YOU FLY? 
(589) 



THE FIGURE. 




S we have previously stated in this work, a 
fine figure is one of the greatest attractions 
any one can possess, for it is an indication 
of perfect health. It is to be feared, how- 
ever, that there has been a tendency among 
our American parents to develop the ner- 
vous organization too highly at the expense 
of the physical, and particularly has this 
been the case in regard to growing girls. 
Dr. E. H. Clark, in his work on " Sex and Education," 
writes these weighty words : "'I never saw before so 
many pretty girls together,' said Lady Amberly to the 
writer, after a visit to the public schools of Boston ; and 
then she added, ' They all looked sick.' Circumstances 
have repeatedly carried me to Europe, where I am 
always surprised by the red blood that fills and colors 
the faces of ladies and peasant girls, reminding one of 
the canvas of Rubens and Murillo; and I am always 
equally surprised on my return by crowds of pale, 
bloodless female faces, that suggest consumption, scro- 
fula, anaemia and neuralgia." So, also, Mrs. Harriet 
Beecher Stowe has said that " the race of strong, hardy, 
cheerful girls ... is daily lessening; and, in their 
stead, come the fragile, easily fatigued, languid girls of 
a modern age, drilled in book-learning, ignorant of 
common things." 

So much has been written upon this subject during 
the last few years, showing not only the immediate 

(595) 



604 THE FIGUBE. 

padding in their dresses, nor should there be the least 
compression across the chest. When pads have been 
worn producing evil effects which it is desired to over- 
come, the treatment is to discard them and bathe and 
gently rub the parts affected, relying on the stimula- 
ting effect of this course to restore the organs. 

THE WAIST. 

In no other respect do women so deliberately and 
universally distort their figures and destroy t heir beauty 
as in the matter of tight lacing. In the celebrated 
statue known as the Venus de Medici, that model of 
female beauty, the waist is twenty-seven inches in 
circumference, and yet the figure is only five feet and 
two inches in height. The law of beauty requires the 
waist to be twice the size of the throat. It is difficult to 
account for the mania for small waists. Planche, in his 
Cyclopaedia of Costumes, says that it " appears to have 
been introduced by the Normans as early as the twelfth 
century. * * * * To make their middles as small 
as possible has been ever since an unfortunate mania 
with the generality of the fair sex, to the detriment of 
their health and the distortion of their forms." Physi- 
cians have been writing against tight lacing ever since 
1602, when Felix Plater denounced the corset; but their 
protest has had little effect, and the cause of the mania 
is still a mystery. Our protest will be as useless as that 
of others, but, aside from the question of health, and 
looking at it simply from the aesthetic standpoint, no 
one comparing the wasp-waist with that of the Greek 
Slave, or any other model, can hesitate for a moment in 
declaring that it is ugly and a distortion. No man worth 
a woman's regard admires her for such a want of sym- 
metry. Still further, tight lacing tends to produce high 










AN ORIENTAL BEAUTY. 
(599) 



THE FIGURE. 605 

shoulders — a deformity in women — unnaturally large 
hips, varicose veins in the legs, and red noses. It 
crowds the lungs and impedes their free action, which 
is so essential to health, and injures the heart, liver and 
reproductive organs. It is said " the German physiolo- 
gist Sommering has enumerated no less than ninety-two 
diseases resulting from tight lacing." Speaking of 
tight lacing, Anna Kingsford, M. D., says: "Infants 
often perish before birth, in consequence of the folly 
(tight lacing) of which their mothers have been guilty. 
Such acts are sins for which women are quite as much 
accountable as for any other moral transgression." 
Many women have worn tight corsets so long, and 
learned to rely on them so much for support, that they 
think they cannot get along without them, which is a 
most mistaken idea. Fortunately, however, tight lacing 
is going out of style, at present, in all countries, and 
that which could not be accomplished by appeals to the 
reason may be brought about by a dictate of fashion. 
Certainly this result is devoutly to be wished. "I 
firmly believe, and shamefacedly confess," says Miss 
Frances E. Willard, "that the corset habit among 
women is as difficult to break as the alcohol and tobacco 
habit among men. If the laws of God that seek the 
health of the body were obeyed but by a single genera- 
tion, the next one would be physically beautiful." Any 
woman who directs or permits her own daughter to 
commit so great a crime against Nature — against her 
own being and the children she will bear — ought to be 
tried and condemned to some dire punishment. 

OBESITY. 

Obesity, or the excessive accumulation of flesh, is a 
great enemy of beauty. Women, as a rule, suffer more 
from this complaint than men — possibly because they 



THE FIGURE. 607 

stances. He daily drank forty-tliree ounces of liquids. 
On this diet lie kept himself for seven years at one hun- 
dred and fifty pounds. He found — as do all others— that 
sugar was the most powerful of all fatteners." 

Dr. Schweninger, who reduced Bismarck's weight 
some forty pounds, and thereby gained so much fame, 
says the patient should not drink while eating, nor 
within an hour or two of the meal-time. 

Early rising should be practiced. Acid drinks, 
like lemonade, are the best, but excessive drinking 
should be avoided. Fat people are usually thirsty, and 
curtailing the amount of water they drink is quite as 
important as abstaining from the use of farinaceous 
food. Experiments made on the horses of a cavalry 
regiment demonstrated the fat-producing qualities of 
water. Potatoes, honey, syrup, pastry containing sugar 
and suet, farina, tapioca, arrowroot, sago, etc., are all 
bad; while green vegetables, raw fruit and pickles may 
be eaten freely. The laxative waters, like the Fried- 
richshall and Hunyadi Janos, are recommended, as 
constipation is very favorable to obesity. Brown bread, 
or that containing bran, is much better than white for 
such patients. All the white bread they eat should be 
toasted, which changes the starch into dextrine. This 
regimen is not very difficult, and custom will soon make 
it pleasant, and the effect will shortly be seen in reducing 
the excessive obesity in almost any patient. 

LEANNESS. 

It is probable that there are quite as many lean 
people desiring to increase their flesh as there are fat 
people desiring to reduce it. In general, it may be said 
that the course to be pursued is the reverse of that 
given for obesity. Anxiety and mental uneasiness are 
great enemies of corpulence, and one of the first requi- 



oo 




SUGGESTIONS BY THE PUBLISHER. 

This attractive and -useful book has three distinct and 
separate departments, each one being independent of the others. 
Those who buy this book, therefore, virtually get three distinct 
works, bound together in one volume. The subjects of which it 
treats are of such general interest that it will be constantly used 
for reference, and we recommend the purchase of the best binding. 
The book is printed on good paper, and substantially and beauti- 
fully bouud, and as it will last for years, it cannot fail to be of 
great benefit to its purchasers. 

Reasons why "Modern Manners and Social Forms" should he in every 
Home. 

First — Because the subjects on which it treats are of universal 
interest. 

Second— Because it is the most complete work of the kind 
ever published. 

Third — Because the information it contains is the freshest 
and most reliable which can be obtained. 

Fourth — Because every young person, especially, will find the 
counsels and suggestions which it offers an inestimable advantage. 
It should be studied by all young people. 

Fifth — Because it is practically three distinct books bound 
together in one volume, so that the price at which it is sold is 
very low. 

Sixth — Because, as a reference book, it will be in constant 
demand. 

Seventh — Because the recipes it gives will save the cost of 
the book in any family many times over. 

Eighth — Because ladies will find the hints about the Toilet, 
Beauty and Health so sensible, practical and healthful, as to be a 
great benefit to them. 
Manners— Face Price page. 





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RESIDENCE. 


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